How to Be More Emotionally Stable When You Desire a Christian Relationship

do you find yourself getting anxious or frustrated or even fearful when you start thinking about a Christian relationship or even just the desire to have a Christian relationship in this video I’m gonna give you three ways that you can control your emotions better when it comes to the area of Christian relationships the first thing you’re gonna want to do if you want to increase your ability to control your emotions when it comes to the context of Christian relationships is that you want to focus on your motivations why do you want a Christian relationship is really a underlying factor that will play into how you feel about Christian relationships that’ll for example do you want a Christian relationship so you feel valuable as a person or do you want a Christian relationship so you can feel like a beautiful woman or like a strong Christian man or do you feel like you want a Christian relationship or a marriage one day because you feel like that’s the only way you can truly find happiness if these types of motives are why you want a Christian relationship your emotions are always going to be unstable because you’re gonna be directly tied to these these things that you’re saying so for example whatever you give the power to validate you you’re also giving the power to invalidate you so when you say you know this I want to be in a relationship with this person so I I feel valuable well now if you’re not in a relationship with that person you’re gonna feel invaluable you’re gonna feel unworthy and therefore your emotions are gonna be unstable so again whatever you give the power to validate you you also give the power to invalidate you whatever you give the power to make you happy you also give the power to make you unhappy whatever you give the power to make you feel strong or beautiful or smart or intelligent whatever you also give the power to make you not feel that way now here’s the what people often do they think well I’m not supposed to want a Christian relationship for a bad reason so I just you know the way I’ll solve that is just by not wanting a Christian relationship I’ll just just like sever that desire and try to kill it so I never can get hurt again and that’s also unbiblical and not wise I’m not saying it’s wrong to want a Christian relationship though it’s in the Bible it’s it’s a good thing to want to be married but we have to want it for the right reason so rather than just sacrificing the desire and throwing it out the window and trying to protect yourself from ever getting hurt rather what you want to do is you want to say I have to focus on wanting this desire for the right reason I want to be in a Christian marriage so I can glorify God so I can serve Him in ministry with a spouse so I can have biblical companionship with my husband or my wife these are good biblical reasons and as a quick side note if you really want to dive into this topic of you know motives for marriage and and the heart motivations that you should have I have a couple courses right now that really tackle that issue one of them one of them is called heart check how to prepare your heart for the blessing of a godly relationship one day and the other one’s called marriage material that one’s all about developing the qualities of pursuing marriage for the right reasons and and becoming the godly person that God would want you to be if he and did have a Christian marriage for you I have one more course I have three courses total right now but those two courses specifically are extremely helpful for this topic that we’re talking about here so I’ll leave some links in the description of this video if that’s something that sounds interesting to you the second way that you can gain more control of your emotions in the context of Christian relationships is by controlling your expectations our emotions and our expectations are are linked directly in our life so when your expectations aren’t met that’s when your emotions start getting out of control what you want to do when it comes to Christian relationships is you want to be hopeful that something happens you want to be open to the possibility because if you’re shut down your little never happen I don’t want to get hurt so I and think about it well now you’re pretty much guaranteeing that nothing’s going to happen in your life in relationships so you don’t want to do that but you don’t want to also say well I know exactly what God’s gonna do he’s gonna put me with that person in this specific way in this specific time period and you have all these extra expectations that really you know are impossible for someone to know and then when your life doesn’t turn out just the way you imagined it to be your emotions start getting all crazy and you start getting anxious and fearful so what you want to do is you want to focus on God’s plan rather than trying to get God to do your plan so it’s absolutely right and Biblical to ask God for what you want it’s not it would not be wrong for you to ask God for a specific type of relationship experience and a certain timeframe and all that nothing would be wrong with asking God for that but you’re gonna get really anxious and your emotions are gonna get really out of control when you start like demanding that God do it that way the the majority of our prayers should be less about telling God what we want him to do and more about receiving the instructions that God’s giving us to help us accomplish the plan that he already has so again we don’t want to just spend our lives telling God what to do that’s gonna create all kinds of anxiety and frustration because ultimately God’s God and he’s not gonna always do exactly what we want because he’s not our armaid he’s not our servant he’s God and He has a plan for our life certainly he listens certainly answers our prayers but ultimately we have to have a submissive spirit to God and say and say less things like you know God I want you to do exactly this and more things like Lord what do you want me to do you know what what is your plan for my life when you start stop having all these expectations about what it’s supposed to look like and you start submitting to what God’s actually gonna do and you start getting empowered through prayer to actually do what the things God’s asking you to do rather than you telling God what to do that’s when you can find emotional stability for example in Romans 12 verse 2 it says do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind that by testing you may discern what is the will of God what is good and acceptable and perfect so we have to train our minds to be less about what we want and more about getting that discernment so that we know what God’s will is for our life when and finally at number three you’ll find peace and emotional stability when you focus more on God than your future hope for a relationship ultimately we are designed to be completely dependent upon God God has to be our rock he has to be our everything and there’s nothing wrong with enjoying earthly things and earthly relationships but when God isn’t first and foremost in our life and he’s not the foundation for our joy in our and he’s not the center of our life eventually we’re going to become very emotionally unstable for example in Philippians 4 verses 6 through 7 here’s what it says it says do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and supplication with Thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your heart and your minds in Christ Jesus so it’s absolutely good to ask God for things that you want it’s a right thing to do as a Christian but notice what verse 7 said it didn’t say that peace will be found once you get exactly what you asked for it said you’ll have the peace that surpasses understanding when Jesus Christ is guarding your heart and your mind when our hearts and our minds are completely focused on God and he’s guarding our minds that’s when we’ll have that emotional peace and stability that we desperately crave if you are a Christian single person who wants to be married one day you might really want to consider enrolling in a GW University I’m currently offering three in-depth courses that will give you really incredible biblical and practical that will help you receive the blessing of a Christian relationship if that’s God’s will for you and if you sign up for the total access plan you get all three of these courses which is a total of 28 in-depth different classes for half the price and finally if you sign up before January 7th 2019 I’m also giving you a bonus of three free months of email coaching with me where you can ask me personal relationship questions relevant to your specific situation but the email coaching is only available to those who enroll before January 7 2009 teen and due to the time it will require I cannot guarantee I will be offering this email coaching service again you’ll still be able to enroll in the course after January 7th 2019 you just won’t get the email coaching I might try to offer the coaching again after this first round of students but I might not I’m committed to doing it for this first round of students though so if you really want this bonus feature I would encourage you to enroll before the 7th so check out a GW University by clicking the link in the description of this video below thanks for watching and God bless