Why Do You Fear the Person You Like? (Christian Relationship Advice)

in this episode we’re gonna talk about four reasons why people often fear the person that they like hey everybody I’m Marc from apply God’s Word calm a place where we apply the Bible to your life I have another video about why the opposite sex often gets awkward around someone that they like in this video I’m gonna take it a step further and talk about the underlying reasons for fear in relationships and again when you like somebody I’m not gonna talk too much about solutions to these reasons because that would take us a little bit off topic and expand this video in a much bigger way but again if you want some more practical solutions I’ll leave a link to the other video that I referenced about not being so awkward around the person that you like so the first reason that people are often afraid and fearful of the person that they like is because subconsciously they’re asking the question am i worth being loved so God has made every single human with the need to be loved by God and to be loved by other people humans are not individual type of people where we can just live this secluded life and have healthy hearts God has designed us to be in a community of other people and to be loved by other people and of course most importantly to know that we’re loved by God for for example in Genesis 2:18 before sin ever even occurred and Adam had a perfect relationship with God he still said it is not good for a man to be alone and while he was certainly talking about Eve I think he was also referring to the greater point of alone in general not just man and woman because by bringing Eve into the story that created opportunities for humans to be in relationship with other humans as they multiplied so long story short one of the reasons fear the person that you’d like is because internally you’re asking am i worth being loved and you’re getting the answer from this person which really isn’t something that you should be doing this early in the relationship for example in first John 4:18 here’s what it says it says there is no fear in love but perfect love casts out fear for fear has to do with punishment and whoever fears has not been perfected in love so if you’re afraid of someone it means that you’re not sure if they love you so the way you solve this problem is by knowing that you’re loved by God and by not asking that deep question about your identity from this other person you have to know that you are worth being loved before you get into a relationship or you’ll always fear this other person because you’ll be afraid that by their response you’ll get a no and say no I’m not worth being loved the second reason that people often fear the person that they like is because they’re afraid of unmet expectations one of the joys of relationships is having expectations and imagining the future and having hopes and you know seeing some of those come to fruition however on the flip side it’s also a fearful thing because when you have a hope and when you have an expectation there’s also the fear of that hope for joy and that it won’t come true and so one of the ways or one of the reasons people fear someone that they like is because they’re putting all their hope for joy in the future in this person and then if that person doesn’t like them in in response they’re afraid that oh no my source of joy won’t be there this expectation for happiness that I that I have won’t actually happen and so that produces a lot of fear the third reason that people often fear the person that they like is because they’re thinking too much about every possible outcome that might happen with this person so this one’s very similar to 0.2 are we talking about unmet expectations but this one’s a little bit different in that when you overanalyze every single possibility that could ever happen with every interaction that you have with this person every look that you put their way every text message that you send every interaction you have on social media and you analyze everything to death that’s going to create a lot of fear because you’re focusing on all the things that are outside of your control the reality is we don’t know what’s gonna happen and when you realize that things are outside of your control it starts producing a lot of fear inside of you paralysis by analysis is a real thing if any one of you is a perfectionist you know that most perfectionists also struggle with procrastination because when you’re so committed to something being perfect a lot of times you’re afraid to even start because you don’t want to mess it up and the best way to not mess something up is to not even start it at all so one verse that really might help you is in Luke 12 verse 11 through 12 and this is what Jesus says he says and when they bring you before the synagogue and the rulers and the authorities do not be anxious about how you should defend yourself or what you should say for the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say so Jesus is obviously talking about something a little bit more serious than fearing someone that you like he’s talking about persecution and what happens when you get brought before people who want to kill you so to speak he’s talking to people who are gonna get persecuted but the same principle is in what Jesus says he says don’t be anxious about what you will say to these people who are trying to persecute you so Jesus is showing right there that you have anxiety when you think too much about the future and you don’t know what you’re going to say or what you’re going to do so we have to learn to walk with Christ in the moment just as that verse says the Holy Spirit will teach us what to say in the moment of trial and I believe that same principle is true throughout life it’s not wrong to plan but when you over plan it’s actually a sign of a lack of faith whereas having faith in God would you know maybe think about things and plan and be wise but also know that when something happens God’s gonna lead you to be yourself and to honor him in every single moment so if you want to overcome fearing someone that you like you have to learn how to walk with Christ in the moment and not try to manipulate every situation to get the outcome that you want rather trust God speak the truth in love be honest and really just try to glorify God in every moment of your life and then in the process you’ll know if something happens with this person it was meant to be and if it doesn’t happen well at least I wasn’t manipulating the situation and pretending to be someone else not or over analyzing everything and trying to control it all and you’ll know that the outcome that occurred was the outcome that God wanted lastly many people fear the person that they like because humans always fear the unknown this is really kind of a summary of all the points that we talked about in this video but again humans always fear what they don’t know so in reality you always have two choices when it comes to the unknowns of life you have the option of fear or you have the option of faith faith is you know trusting God even though you can’t see the outcome for example in Hebrews 11 verses 8 through 9 here’s what it says by faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance and he went out not knowing where he was going by faith he went to live in the land of promise so Abraham was able to follow God out into the unknown because he had faith there’s always gonna be things that we don’t know in life and again when you don’t have faith the only other option is fear so ultimately the way that you’re going to overcome fear of the person that you like is by having a greater faith in God he’s got a good plan for your life and when you follow him by obeying his word and seeking to honor him in your heart with all your motives and just seeking to be filled with the spirit God’s not gonna let you miss the good things that he has planned for you well I hope you enjoyed this video if you did give it a thumbs up I’m mark from apply God’s Word com thanks for watching have a good one you