Being Single, Christian, & Upholding Standards

hey guys I hope that you’re all doing well I’m coming to you from my little town house out here in Houston as you can see I have some decor going on in the background you know trying to get into the holiday spirit even though I’m going home to Chicago for the holidays no still trying to make a little festive umm they as you can see from the title of the video this video is going to be about you know being single being a Christian and a potent standard I’ve been feeling like led to make this video for a few months now but I’m just now getting around to it because I don’t necessarily know what to say but I’m going to talk to you guys as if I would talk to someone in my family or talk to one of my friends so yeah being single is something that somewhat frowned upon in our society it’s all over TV you know in magazines and books you know it’s it’s just even in the church you know should be in a relationship but there’s nothing wrong with being single like that’s what I’ve had to realize because I’ve been you know in a few relationships or I’ve been in situations where I was dealing with guys that I knew I shouldn’t have been dealing with you know doing stuff that I knew I shouldn’t have been doing um and it didn’t get me anywhere it got me to feeling very sad you know um I would be filled with like guilt if I was just hanging out someone that I knew I should not have been with so I just want to talk a little bit about my perspective and kind of share how how I deal with the situation that I’m in and try and look at it in a positive light first and foremost I’m going to say that I’m not perfect you know every day is not easy for me um but I would always like to share encouragement people who might be in a similar situation as I am speaking for myself I don’t have too many close friends who were truly truly trying to live for God um and I’m in a place where I’m trying to make good choices in the past I haven’t always made good choices so I completely relate with people who are just kind of doing their own thing you know living in this world it’s easy to get caught up in what everyone else is doing you know if you see you know your friends having a guy come over sleepover all the time you might find that to be okay you might think oh well you know we’re not having sex or you know we’re not doing XYZ but he can come over and he can see the night like you end up starting to kind of bend the rules of what we are taught is you know right and wrong from a biblical standpoint I was in that position I’ve been in those positions before you know when I was back when I was like in college of my early years in college I um I was that way so I completely relate to my friends or family or anybody who isn’t necessarily at the point that I’m at right now um it’s important to know that wherever you are in your journey is where you are if you see somebody maybe like me this is where I am like right now goal is to always continue to progress my goal is to not take steps backwards so where I was years ago and where I am now it’s night and day um I’m sure people that knew me in high school could have tested that like I’m I’m a completely different person and I can only attribute that to God for delivering me from you know my rebellious ways so I don’t hold it against anybody who’s you know living their life the way that they see fit right now that’s completely up to them but for me where I am right now I don’t have a lot of friends who are truly trying to live for God like I make choices that a lot of people don’t necessarily make or at least not many people that I know so I can feel very isolated sometimes you know like I moved to a brand new city I’m completely independent I’m on my own I have family out here but I live by myself so I’ve met a few like cool people but I’m very selective this comes into like the this standards part I’m selective and people that I spend time with whether it be a guy or whether it be you know a friend I’m very selective so I don’t know it can be a little bit difficult to have standards in this day and age because a lot of people don’t have the same understands I have um I’m not going to too much detail but you know I don’t really I don’t want to go to the club like I’m not really out there trying to twerk on anybody like that’ll never happen like you’ll never see me torquing like that never happen so I would rather go to the mall you know go to Sephora go you know go out to eat but people I’m 21 so you know what 21 is all about like sometimes I want to go out and sometimes I’ll go maybe to a bar but you’re not gonna catch me in the club I can tell you that much but a lot of people like to do that so it kind of separates me but what I’ve learned is that when I’m separated it just means that God is pulling me closer to him um it’s a perfect opportunity for me to grow closer to him and rely on him more and rely less on my own understanding so I try and look at situations where I feel lonely or what society would perceive as lonely as just a time to grow so you know if you ever feel lonely draw closer to God since pulling you to him and he’ll give you all the comfort that you need a lot of females want a guy to fill that void they feel like if they get in a relationship they get married they get a boyfriend that all their problems are going to go away but I’m here to tell you that that’s just not necessarily the case more problems will come about um problems that you might not have been dealing with before for example let’s say you’re dating somebody you’re having sex outside of marriage or you’re having you know you’re doing whatever for your biggest problem was loneliness and feeling you know maybe I now you have a pregnancy scare on your hands you are battling between you know how you’re going to deal with it how are you going to tell your parents these are two different problems so I would say it’s never a good idea to go to a relationship to try and solve a problem because it’ll just make your life it will just drop a bomb on your life and all the little problems you thought you had will be magnified a big reason why I’m still going out is that I don’t want to just rush into a relationship just to be with somebody just so I have someone sitting right here next to me on the couch like it’s not that serious to me right now it’s just really not I feel as though there are a lot of things I can accomplish right now being single and having the time that I have on my hands like for example pouring into YouTube or I’m going to start a website soon I just bought the domain yesterday I’m working trying to get my career in the water you know maybe I’ll go back and get my MBA there is a multitude of things I can do to occupy my time outside looking for a relationship to fulfill me and give me purpose when God already promised to fulfill me and has already given me a purpose um I find comfort in knowing that my whole life is already planned out God has already set the path for my life all I have to do is have faith have hope acts right act accordingly and everything will happen when it’s time I believe that God will present the right guy to me at the right time and I can guarantee you that that guy is going to be 10 times better than whatever I could find out here in the streets or oh I’m not in the streets but whatever I can find out here maybe like going to a club or going online like I’m never going to be able to find what I need in the way that God could presented to me because he knows what I need way more than I got and used to hang out with in the past have shown me that I might not be the best at choosing for myself especially when you’re in college if you’re in college you see maybe at the front friend you know you see that they always have been there little sleepovers and you just you might want that but I’m just telling you that people show you what they want you to see when you want Instagram you see people and great relationships you and you don’t really see what’s going on behind the photo so never get too caught up in what people may make their lives out to be on social media I will say like every day is not easy for me I I feel as though God put the desire in me to want to be in a relationship to want to get married to want to have kids so the desire is always there so every day is not easy anyone who’s my close friend knows is not easy but the difference between me now and me back in the day is that I don’t act on the desire of one in somebody here I don’t act on the desire of um fulfilling you know what I want in my life in that regard I don’t act on it you’re not going to see me approaching a guy letting him know you know hey like you’re so cute like back in the day I swear to you I would have done that but now I’m just chilling because I know it’ll all happen when his time if I’m in a relationship right now if I’m not with anybody right now maybe I’m not supposed to be maybe I’m supposed to be developing maybe I’m not in a place where I could be in a relationship you know so that’s kind of like how you need to think I’ve seen relationships that were not supposed to be and people try and make it work and it’s not supposed to be you know when it’s the right person versus when you trying to make this person right for you when they’re not there’s a lot of red flags so for anybody who’s single or anybody who’s a Christian or anyone who’s in a situation so much similar to Mike just hang in there because it will all make sense one day like when you find the right guy it all makes sense in the day you’re single it’s a perfect time to really grow in your faith and really have faith you know it’s a great time to develop patience and to just stick something out it’s difficult it’s the road less traveled to behave a lot of people don’t behave but it’s rewarding and nothing worth having comes easily it happens what it supposed to happen and there’s nothing you can do God has already written the story like it’s going to happen on a certain day a certain time all you have to do is show up like it’s not it’s so much easier to grasp when you realize you’re really not that much in control so yeah always keep that in mind so when it does come to dating or coordinating or whatever you want to call it what I want now lies more within the lines of courting I don’t want to just be dating people to be Damon and I also don’t want to just be dating random people like they got the next guy who I’m in a relationship with I can guarantee you won’t have to be my friend first it doesn’t make logical sense to think somebody’s cute you know talk to them text them a little bit maybe hang out for like a month and then be in a relationship because you can’t know somebody fully in a month I don’t care what anyone says comment below if you want to argue about it I’m just kidding I really don’t let’s argue like that but it just doesn’t make logical sense so it makes more sense to be friends with somebody get to know him and then see you know if you guys are compatible over time you get to know somebody and it’s a lot easier to get to know somebody as a friend versus romantically because when you’re romantically involved things get a little cloudy but if you’re strictly friends you can tell like this he follow through with his word how does he treat his family think it’s important to be friends first so well in the future when I do meet somebody that’s the way that it’s going to and I can make an intelligent decision before I get into a relationship as far as standards go I think it is so important to set standards and hold yourself to them where I am now is I have some good standards that I’m not compromising on I have some things that nobody can get me to do at this point in my life and there’s nothing you can say because I’m just chilling like I’m not going to date someone who’s not a Christian at this point in my life and would date someone who’s truly living the life you know take like truly on a journey the same journey that I’m on to become better and to show more love and to just be a better person and live more like Jesus that’s one of my biggest deal-breakers and by being friends with somebody you can really decipher if they’re kind of true or if they’re just faking so that’s where that goes back to being friends you really get to know somebody when you’re just front at the end of the day I just feel like being single is not the worst thing in the world it’s the perfect opportunity to just truly develop as a person as an individual and you know practice having standards I don’t let anyone just talk to me I don’t give just anybody my phone number I don’t really entertain anything that I don’t want to entertain so I have standards and I want to make God happy and I live my life according to pleasing him and not trying to please everybody else so I just wanted to give some sort of motivation or anyone within a situation similar to me or does anyone who wanted some encouragement maybe you’re in a relationship and you know it’s not right for you you want to leave it I’m here to tell you that I’ve been there um it’s difficult when you leave the relationship but give it a few weeks or a few months and you’ll be brand new and life goes on be mindful in your actions um who you interact with and how you present yourself and I guarantee you everything will fall into place I’m here for you so comment anything down below follow me on Instagram if you want to stay connected I post a lot of positivity on there and if you are living for God or if you want to live for God um you know it’s going to be probably one of the best decisions that you can make and any boy that you have within yourself he can fill it so instead of running for a guy to fill your boys or to you know help you to get through anything you’re going through you turn to God and life just gets a lot easier it just starts to make a lot more sense comment below if you want to see any more videos like this or what your thoughts were or you know if you just want to have a conversation comment down below and yeah I look forward to seeing you guys in my next video thank you guys so much for watching and I will see you guys in my next one bye