what are you doing man I’m out here just trying to recover from all that has happened with this book relationship though man God is so good okay let’s do it [Music] photo me and you Tag Team preaching about relationship goals they not ready for this pastor Stephen because if this actually happened people are going to start winning in relationships hey listen if you have to click on this and keep watching this this is gonna change every relationship that you have right now I’m too high I’m about to go crazy [Music] thank you for the noise let’s go and I think that if we could ever start living by the principles of God we would avoid a lot of the problems of life i’ma say it again if we could ever start living by the principles of God we were to avoid a lot of problems in life write down my first point right now the more principles you learn from the Word of God the less you pray about what to do I’m gonna say it again cuz some of y’all like what did he just say he said you don’t have to pray that much listen to what I just said the more principles you learn from the Word of God the less you have to pray about what to do if you have a car made by a manufacturer whatever your car is a Kia a Honda a Ford whatever your car is the car comes with the manual most of us have never read the manual can we be honest if you have read the manual to yo car lift your hands right now and I see if you lie put your hands down Tremaine you know you didn’t read the manual okay most of us never read the manual so if something goes wrong with our vehicle most of us panic most of us if we start the car we start hearing a noise and then it slows down and the acceleration goes down we pull over to the side we start panicking or know what’s gonna happen and usually we call a mechanic because the panic leads to problems and so when we start panicking we then find problems and then we find a mechanic when the mechanic gets there he comes in he doesn’t seem tense worried frustrated nothing he comes in he tries to start the car he listens to what’s happening he then goes up and he opens up the hood he goes past all of the other things and goes straight to the problem and he’s able to fix exactly what’s wrong with the situation because he knows the principles of a car okay y’all are gonna get this in a second you pay him three hundred and fifty dollars why because you did not know how to fix it yourself you could have saved time and money and not had to pay for it if you knew the principles I’m talking about your relationships and you don’t even know it you are paying so much in time and energy and hurt and frustration and you’re losing purpose and losing your life because you’re paying for something that you do not know the principles of oh I’ve already preached it and many of you are depleted and I’m daresay overdrawn in your account because you’re paying for not knowing the principles when I think about this you need to understand this principle simplify life when you understand the principle of a thing life becomes simple I want you to write that down principles simplify life prove it to you the car that most of us drive works on the principle of gasoline you know how to put gas in your car you know that principle so when your car goes on e don’t nobody be praying about that because they know the principle they don’t so God I’m only father I just think you right now that you would send a ram in the bush god I thank you Father that you would make a way for the petrol to get into my tank god I need to call a phone a friend Holy Spirit who should I call Diane Diane I need you to touch in a kree with me because right now I’m out of gas and I know that God can be away where there is no way Lord would you please bring a quick trip you don’t do that cuz you understand the principle of gasoline so you don’t have to pray about what you understand the principle of you don’t have to pray about what you understand the principle of and so what ends up happening is if you run out of gas you’ll find the nearest gas station you will put the gas in the car and you will pump it because you understand how the principle of a car is supposed to function that’s the way it’s supposed to be for all your relationships you’re supposed to understand the principles of relationships so you don’t have to pray about what you already know the principle love see how quiet it is because the truth is most of us have never read the manual about relationships most of us have never been taught the principles our parents didn’t know how to do it so they didn’t teach us about it pop culture acts like they know how to do it so they’re the only ones stepping up and saying this is how it’s supposed to be this is how supposed to be but they didn’t make it so it’s a it’s one of those things where they’re telling you how it’s supposed to work but they have no guarantees in their life you ever got a product that wasn’t made by the manufacturer so you get no guarantees with it and that’s what’s happening a lot of our relationships are broken because we’re getting taught and they’re given to us but somebody who didn’t make them and when you didn’t make a thing you can’t guarantee it I feel that so what I’m trying to tell you right now whatever happens in your relationship you are supposed to know exactly what to do know what’s wrong with it and how to fix it but the reason we can’t is because we haven’t read the manual the reason I’m trying to to dig down on this and y’all I feel like a teacher today I really want to take you through the word and build the value too my God is supposed to be the ones to define our relationship why our relationship with him is our ultimate relationship goal because out of that relationship all of our other relationships will be successful how does a relationship I have vertically with him everything I do down here will be able to win but what we’ve been trying to do is do relationship down here and ask him to bless it when he wasn’t the first relationship go for us I think that many relationships fail not because of a loss of love but because of a loss of focus that would be one of the reasons that a church fails as well while we’re at it is that you lose your focus when you stop caring about what God cares about God will no longer back you in your endeavor and so sometimes what we call failure is really just broken focus it’s the reason why the passion that exists in some parts of relationships when it’s getting started tends to leak and you wonder where it went it wasn’t necessarily that you lost the love you lost the focus it’s very difficult to keep that first loved focus in any relationship I think Jesus is calling us back to focus if you’ll notice the bread on the sandwich from the little passage that we just read both of them start with seeking seek first his kingdom ask and it will be given to you seek and you will find on both ends of this passage where Jesus is speaking on several different subjects is this idea of focus especially in our culture I think the focus when it comes to our relationship tends to be a little broken when I say that it’s broken I mean that it’s misplaced and misleading sometimes we’re so focused on falling in love that we are very uneducated about the process of staying in love talk to me anytime you want to and there’s a there’s a romantic notion that is reinforced with every romantic comedy that the falling part is where the excitement is I was looking at an article getting ready for this series where the author said there’s a reason that fairy tales end in marriage because nobody wants to see what happens next nobody wants to talk about the other half now watch this the first area you got to decide you got to decide your focus because you can always decide your focus you can always decide about all the factors you can’t always decide if somebody’s gonna stay with you or leave you can’t always decide if someone’s gonna ask you out you can always decide if they’re gonna text back but you can always decide your focus so is your focus number one on finding or becoming finding or becoming jesus said seek first the kingdom and the other stuff will move into position but if you seek first the other stuff then you will have no center of gravity for the stuff to revolve around so it’s important that your focus is not I’ve been teaching this for years man I just go around to youth camps and I would teach dating seminar and I would say you know it’s not original quote for me but I’ll say it all the time because I think it’s true happiness isn’t finding the right person happiness is being the right person I’ll take it further since your applause is so tepid if you find the right person and you are not the right person what do you think you’re gonna do to that poor right person now I’m not suggesting please I’m not suggesting that if you’re not married or something like that discuss you’re not ready yet because now all we have to do to disprove that stupid theory is to look at some of the people who are married so marry doesn’t equal ready okay I can offer you many examples of that starting with myself but what I am saying is that it is important to God it’s important to God that you have the right people in your life but the only way you’re gonna have the right people in your life is if you will be the right person in your heart that’s the only way you’re that’s that’s the only way you’re even gonna attract them to begin with and that’s the only thing you can control I can always can control whether this person comes into my life but I can control the kind of person that I am you know how you have little memories from your childhood that are so random that you wonder how they’re still up there from all these years and you kind of wish you could delete them because honestly you need that space for more important things like your children’s names and stuff that you forget sometimes but I have memory I don’t know why I remember in sixth grade they gave us the Berkeley County writing test I remember the prompt of the Berkeley County writing test when I was in the sixth grade almost word-for-word pretend that you are on an adventure or they called it a journey with your friends and on this adventure or journey you fight you come across a valuable unusual object describe the object a couple weeks later the teacher walked in with all of our writing tests and made an announcement she said I’ve never had this happen before in however many years of teaching but every single one of you failed the Berkeley County writing test we laughed she said it’s not a joke she said you wrote beautiful essays you went into great detail elaborating on the journey with your friends but that was not the writing prompt the writing prompt was not to describe the journey the writing prompt was to describe the object all of you wrote essays about walking through the woods with your friends some of you traveled across the seas with your friends some of you flew through space with your friends it was highly entertaining but none of you described the object the object of relationship the object of love is not that somebody else would complete you I’m sorry Renee Zellweger but you got it wrong your line was touching it just wasn’t true Jerry didn’t complete you touch your neighbours say you can’t complete me say we teach this stuff no other single people right there have their fists up ready to fight me what I want to preach about marriage just the way we preach and teach it we teach it like until you get married your life hasn’t started I only got one question to ask you if that’s true how can you worship Jesus we worship a guy who stayed single till they killed him [Applause] I’ll be like Jesus I’m afraid to say that but I’m saying I’m saying if Paul would have waited to fulfill his purpose until he had somebody to complete him we wouldn’t have twenty three percent of the New Testament and we teach them wrong what’s wrong I’ve taught it wrong we teach it wrong in in the book of Genesis God’s describing marriage he thought might Adam and even he says that you know the man shall leave his father and mother and go be with his wife and it says that the two will become one let me tell you what it doesn’t say it doesn’t say the haves will become whole but yet we teach it and we treat it and we expect it like the haves are gonna become whole but I found out if you go into a marriage half the two halves are gonna make hell not hold straight reaching pastor Cena it’s very true pastor so what is your focus is it what you can control which is what God is doing in your life or is it finding you know if I gotta find a woman then you got to find a ring and you gotta find some money you got to find a date to get married and a place to get married that everybody can come to that all in the same date working out continents different continents people coming together from all these different places in the world and got to find the dresses for the bridesmaids something that they’ll all wear and won’t complain about then look good against their skin tone you know find a house and find a job and finding finding finding finding finding finding finding finding you see the pattern here but God said while all of that has its place if you will focus on becoming remember he said the two will become one that’s the focus what are you becoming [Music] you [Music]

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