Faithbay

okay if I wear my hat yes very well I have no makeup on I almost never film without makeup yeah things you don’t film with makeup either so today hey friends Tiffany dawn here this is my husband James hey guys who most of you know by now and we’re gonna talk about my favorite subject in the world which is sex today we’re talking about sex because actually it’s our wedding anniversary today and we had decided that we wanted to wait until marriage to have sex today is the trier anniversary of the first time we got make it together the first time we slept in the same bed we actually though we didn’t actually have sex that night because um yeah a little hard to figure out yeah look about the learning curve but it was so special on our wedding night I remember just feeling totally overwhelmed by like just the beauty and like miracle and just the closeness to you and the intimacy and I just remember being like there’s so much beautiful it was so special so today we want to share some things that we think are important for you to know about sex so the first thing that I think is really important is to prepare your expectations because in our world I think it’s easy to have one of two extremes like there’s the Hollywood romantic view of sex where you’re just like having all the time and the girls like loving every second of it every time even though it’s like the first time they’ve ever done it and that’s not really an accurate representation of sex especially for a girl especially the first few times and then there’s also the perception of like we don’t talk about sex in my home like it seems like dirty or taboo or something that I should feel ashamed of and then I get married and I feel still feel like guilty about it that’s another expectation that it’s like dirty or it’s not gonna be fun that is also completely not true we met this one young married couple who was two weeks into their marriage I wanted anything strip yeah as we asked the guy you know how like what’s it like he’s like wow you know when I got married I figured we would have sex like 10 or 12 times a day and I mean his poor life I think one of the big things is kind of getting some real expectations from real people so one of the things I did when I was single because I’m a weird person is I would go and I’d ask my friends when they were married people Ickes to tell me about your sex life not like details or like personal but just like what is it like like what should I be expecting and that really helps me to develop some realistic expectations about sex one of the things you can do now to prepare for a great sex life in the future is actually learning how to express yourself like your likes and your dislikes and being okay with being back like we had to learn to talk about hey you know I like I like when you do this I like when you do that sometimes there’s this perception that your partner is just gonna know the right thing to do really that’s not true yeah I mean if you’re if you think about anything you do with a person playing a sport doing a duet together with music doing a dance with someone there has to be communication there has to be practice and you’re really not very good at it the first couple of times you do it and that’s totally normal a person who truly cares about you as a person really wants to know what you like and don’t like but it’s a man it is impossible to figure out what you like and don’t like unless you use your words you have to use words we don’t get hints we have no idea what they are up so you need to use words yeah tip number three is rephrase the wait sometimes it helps to just rephrase it from thinking about sex as something that’s a no and instead think of it as a wait because you don’t want to think about sex as being dirty and like you’re always saying no no no and then you get married and they’re like sure go ahead and you’re like what I’ve always said no like I feel so weird and I know a lot of women who feel really guilty about sex and there’s no need to you’ve got mean it it’s beautiful it’s a gift and so if you’ve decided to wait till marriage to have sex try not to think about it as a no and instead just think about it as a wait the fourth thing is don’t take yourself too seriously like James was saying it takes practice you’re gonna make mistakes funny things are gonna happen and you can just laugh about it and it can be part of your intimacy with your husband like just being like oh that was so funny I love that that happened I’m moving on yeah and one of the really special things about the keeping sex for only being in a long-term committed marriage relationship is that you don’t need to impress that person like I don’t feel the pressure to know I just need to do everything right so I can impress her and she’ll like me it’s not a show because we’re committed to one another we’re gonna figure out how to have a really good time and we’re gonna we committed to working through the bad times and that just that takes so much pressure off one of the things that is kind of fun for us to do is we’re trying to have sex in every state so shortly after we got married I had a business trip to New Hampshire and we were staying this really romantic bed-and-breakfast and we were so excited and we’re like what did it go in the jacuzzi and it would be really romantic and then we’re gonna have sex and we got in the jacuzzi and it was really romantic and then the hot water got to us and we were like wow we feel so tired even though it’s only 9:15 p.m. and we drained the water and we were like there’s no way we can have sex we just need to go to head right now and it was like really corny and we were like in bed time we were kind of things were pretty newly bared we were pretty pretty bad but right now it’s just funny it’s just funny moments like that it’s like it just builds your sense of closeness and intimacy when things go wrong yeah you can just enjoy it and yeah it’s you go wrong it’s just how it goes so one question that I’ve heard a lot from girls is but what if my husband won’t like me Meghan so let’s talk about that yeah that’s if you are married to someone that truly cares about you that is married to you has gone through planning a wedding seeing you through up and down believe me if you were naked they’re interested everyone has issues with their own body you know my man boobs too big am I too fat I’ve been distressed recently because some of my dress clothes won’t fit because I’ve gained a little bit of weight you know some days tiffany feels weight about how she looks and some Dainius tiffany really doesn’t like how she looks and that’s just a part of life but as a husband I don’t care I think it’s all really hot so believe me you show up naked you’re good to go absolutely show me the booby absolutely you the guy are getting to have sex with the woman you love that’s that’s it and now briefly let’s talk about porn yeah I would really encourage all girls to be very insistent that your partner not use pornography because that will drain his sexual drive his interest in you his sex life there’s a lot of really good information on fight the new drug Arg what really pornography is an addiction like heroin or alcohol people get addicted to it and it’s like they literally can’t help themself and it does have a lot of ruling negative consequences in relationships like a lot of research is showing that not just Christian research like secular research yes so spend some remaining look into it but be ladies be be very insistence there’s really no excuse for it it does it harms a relationship just as much as someone who has a gambling problem or a drinking problem and I think it is something that a lot of guys do struggle with on and off so like what did you say about that like if there’s a guy who like occasionally struggles with looking at porn if your life partner comes to you and says hey I’m having trouble with this and I’m really sorry but I did look at porn last week that is something that they’re working through they have a mentor that they’re working through with that God can provide a lot of healing for that and I think that’s great it’s just the common cultural perception is I’m a man of course I look at porn but it’s not it’s not a big deal and that’s not healthy and porn is something that girls struggle with too I think 30 percent of girls struggle with porn so if that is a struggle that you have again there’s no shame in this like every struggle that we experience we’re not the only ones who experience it and there’s no need to feel shame about this but you can start to get help now and start to work through it now cuz I think it’s easy to think oh once I get married then all my struggles are gonna be solved like my struggle with lust or pornography will just go away spending money eating the wrong things yeah or anything or being lonely and those issues are issues at the heart so a change in your circumstances does not make them go away like sure a little bit of time you might not struggle as much but in the end it’s gonna come back up in some way and sometimes it resurfaces as a different in a different form but that same heart issue will come up again and so it’s something that is good to start dealing with now and working through right now instead of waiting till later if you’ve had sex and you’re like wow that was wrong there is there is no need to feel shame about that there’s forgiveness for that there’s a lot of perception especially if you grew up in a conservative Christian Church your sex is just like such a huge issue you know honestly to God all sins all mistakes are the same in God’s eyes it’s no different than if you have had like struggled with hatred or gluttony all of those things are sins there are abuses of a good thing but there’s no need to feel shame the demo uses shame to entrap you and make you feel like you’re worthless and God doesn’t love you and nothing could be farther from the treat yeah and if you want to hear more about that actually did video called sex when you want to wait again so if you’re in that place check it out it’s linked right up there so girls I would love to hear your thoughts and all these things and if you have questions as always feel free to email me at Tiffany dawn at Tiffany dawn net and Dustin emails respond sometimes because I start keeping up with my emails well there’s a lot of people to write in that’s true and I try to like really give long absolutely response that’s true so you’re working a while yeah but anyway feel free to write and I would love to hear from you and talk with you more about this where we can do more videos on this too if that’s something that’s of interest to you guys so thanks for being with us today and I can’t wait to hear what you think of this video hopefully it wasn’t too much information sometimes I don’t filter well so we’ll see okay guys bye [Music] you’re the hand I wanna [Music]

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