Red Flags: 8 Types of People to Avoid in Christian Dating and Marriage (Proverbs 26:12-28)

hey everyone I’m mark from apply God’s Word calm a place where you apply the Bible to your life and in this episode we’re gonna talk about eight different types of people that you should avoid in friendship and dating and in marriage so if you look for totally perfect people to be in a relationship with you’re never gonna be in any relationships you know perfect people don’t exist so in this video we’re not trying to say only look for people who don’t have any issues because as Christians all of our friends are gonna be imperfect and we’re gonna be imperfect good friendships dating relationships and marriage are based on grace forgiveness compassion understanding and so all of those things are extremely necessary but there’s a difference between friendship and ministering to someone you can minister to anyone in the world no matter how bad evil sinful whatever destructive thing they’re in you can you can minister to that person in a healthy way if you’re protecting yourself and protecting your own heart however there’s a different standard when you’re becoming friends with somebody or dating or in the marriage with somebody you know when you open up your heart to someone you know that’s when you need to take a look at their character in a greater way than if you’re just serving them friendships is give-and-take you’re not only gonna try to help people that you’re in a friendship with or dating relationship with but you’re gonna also be helped by them and open yourself up to them so in ministry and in service you’re going to out to try to influence people in a relationship of any kind you’re allowing yourself to be influenced by others so that’s why it says for example in 2nd Timothy 2:22 flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness faith love and peace along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart so as a Christian it is completely right to look for others who are also seeking Christ now to discover the types of people who aren’t seeking Christ it’s helpful to read proverbs 26 verses 12 through 28 by going through this passage of Scripture we’re gonna discover eight different types of people that we need to avoid in a committed relationship the first type of person that you’re gonna want to avoid are those people who are legends in their own minds it says in proverbs 26 verse 12 do you see a man wise in his own eyes there is more hope for a fool than for him if someone’s wise in their own eyes it is impossible to have a genuine relationship with that person we all make mistakes in life we’re all gonna sin against each other but if someone is always right you’re never going to be right when you’re in their presence you’re always going to be the problem and they’re always going to be the victim so you always want to try to avoid someone who lacks humility and and this is a legend in their own mind the second type of person you want to avoid is that person who always has excuses of why they can’t do the right thing it says in proverbs 26 verse 13 the sluggard says there’s a lion in the road a fierce lion roaming the street notice in this passage that phrase is repeated the guys keep saying there’s a lion outside there’s a lion outside that’s exactly how it is with someone who always has an excuse to not do the right thing no matter what you tell them no matter how many warnings you give them no matter how wrong they are they always have an excuse and it’s just impossible to have a genuine relationship with this person the third type of person you want to avoid in a committed relationship are lazy people it says in Proverbs 26 verses 14 through 15 as a door turns on its hinges so a slugger turns on his bed the slugger buries his hand in the dish he is too lazy to bring it back to his mouth you know lazy people take advantage of compassionate people who have a strong work ethic lazy people love to attach themselves to other people like those verses says you can prepare a meal for that person but they’re going to be too lazy to even eat the thing in other words no matter how much you do you know they’re always going to be lazy lazy people actually get lazier the more you do for them so you really want to be careful if someone is just constantly not you know doing what they need to do to take care of themselves number four you’ll want to avoid people who are always smarter than everybody else this is pretty similar to the first type of person we talked about who is a legend in their own mind but this person takes it a step further not only are they smarter than everybody else they also think everyone is really stupid you know when someone is constantly judging others and pointing out the flaws and other others are just constantly seeing the flaws in the world eventually that negativity is going to be zeroed in on you if you’re dating that person or you’re you know friends with that person eventually you’re gonna be the problem healthy relationships are all about give and take sometimes I take sometimes I give that’s the point of the healthy relationship these types of people always right and everyone else is always wrong the fifth type of people are drama lovers they love love love drama it says in proverbs 26 verse 17 like one who seizes the dog by the ear is a passerby who meddles in a quarrel not his own so you know a lot of times things happen in life we got to deal with them you know peaceful people don’t always have people peaceful circumstances peaceful people know how to address problems in their life in a healthy sustainable way they address problems when they come up metal errs look for problems and then they’re the type of people who complain drama always follows me why do things always happen to me well they happen to you because you love drama and you’re continually looking for problems and you get in fights with that really don’t involve you you see fire and you run towards it notice in this verse it says a dog is passing by and the meddler grabs the dog by the ear so the the dog was passing by but this person just had to reach out and grab the dog by the ear likewise people who love drama they just can’t stay out of it they look for it they thrive on it and if you link up with a person like this you’re not going to have a lot of peace in your life number six you want to avoid people who are cynical sarcastic and passive-aggressive you know humor and things like that and even some sarcasm in a healthy way isn’t you know the end of the world and you can even see elements of that in scripture at times but there’s a difference when you’re cynical in sarcasm sarcastic and you’re passive-aggressive it says in proverbs 26 verse 18 and 19 like a madman shooting firebrands or deadly arrows is a man who deceives his neighbor and says I was only joking so you know that person who continually does passive-aggressive stuff and then you get offended they’re like I was just joking why are you so why you so upset those types of people are extremely dangerous to be around the Bible tells us in Ephesians 4:15 that Christians are supposed to speak the truth in love we want to build each other up we don’t want any let any unwholesome talk come out of our mouths which isn’t helpful to edifying others and ourselves words really do have power so when someone is continually using their words in passive-aggressive ways it really wears on you point 7 also it gives us a warning about the power of words the type of person you’re gonna want to avoid in this one is a gossiper a gossiper corrupts your heart when you hear that gossip that they’re talking about it says in proverbs 26 verses 20 through 22 without wood a fire goes out without gossip a coral dies down as charcoal to embers and as wood to fire so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife the words of a gossip are like choice morsels they go down to a man’s inmost parts gossip is so detrimental because it’s like putting you know wood on the fire the fire would eventually just go out if you didn’t keep adding more fuel to the fire and that’s exactly what gossip does gossip enhances the problem because it keeps adding more or words and things too you know the problem that’s going on secondly gossip is so destructive because it seems okay because a lot of times what’s being said is actually true sometimes you can talk about something and say things that are true but the problem is that you’re saying them at all and then other people are hearing them at all because if those people aren’t actually involved in the problem it doesn’t matter if what they’re saying is true that’s gossip and it’s you know gonna corrupt your own heart like it said in the last verse in verse 22 the words of a whisper are like delicious morsels they go down into the inner parts of the body so when you hang around someone who gossips you’re really you know hindering the health of your own heart the eighth type of person you want to avoid is the smooth talker you know there’s nothing wrong with you know making good first impressions or being well-spoken but there’s types of people who smooth talk to you know deceive the the people from the evil they’re actually doing you know a guy might be say the right things to a girl to then take advantage of her or a pastor might just use the right amount of biblical language to get the person to write the big check or the girl might just you know make the guy feel like a total loser without ever admitting her own wrongs so it says in proverbs 26 verses 23 through 28 like coating on a glaze over earthenware our fervent lips with an evil heart a malicious man disguises himself with his lips but in his heart he harbors to see though his speech is charming do not believe him for seven abominations fill his heart his malice may be concealed by deception but his wickedness will be exposed in the Assembly if a man digs a pit he will fall into it if a man rolls a stone it will roll back on him a lying tongue hates those it hurts and a flattering mouth works ruin so notice what it says in verse 26 this is really helpful to be able to discover who this type of person is it says his wickedness will be exposed in the Assembly so how can you discover who’s a smooth talker who is this type of was just deceiving you with words it’s where there’s fire you know where there’s smoke there’s fire when there’s constantly accusations against this person and everywhere you go you hear bad things about this person even though to you it just sounds like they say the right thing all the time you need to be aware of what’s going on it says in the assembly this person is exposed so again where there’s a lot of accusations about this person you have to start paying attention to what other people are saying everyone gets falsely accused every now and then but if it’s a consistent pattern in this person’s life that other people are calling this person the deceiver even though you think they’re a great person you owe it to yourself to look into it all right well those were just eight types of people that you’re going to want to avoid in friendship dating and in marriage now again to balance all this out we can’t look for perfect people no one’s going to be perfect and we can serve anybody all the different types of people I mentioned in this video are not people that you should just hate or scorn or stay away from completely you just need to be on guard guard your heart as it says in proverbs 4:23 for it is the wellspring of life so you can serve these types of people but you don’t want to open yourself up to them in a committed relationship like friendship or dating or if you are considering marrying someone like that and as a final note if you’re married to somebody like this you know you don’t have the option just to cut them off and say good riddance you can guard your heart against someone like that if you’re married to them but it’s not the same if you’ve made that commitment in marriage you know you have to work on loving that person where they’re at and overcoming their flaws in different ways than if you you know haven’t made that commitment to them like in friendship or dating you have more freedom to cut these people off and you know not open yourself up to them like that well again I’m mark from apply God’s Word com hope you enjoyed this video and you’ll learn something new if you did give us a thumbs up leave us a comment in the comment section asked a question that you might think other people are asking too I’ll do my best day and the questions that come in and leave us some comment what are some types of people that we should avoid opening our hearts up to well thanks for watching and God bless