The Christian Dating Boundaries No One Talks About

hi beautiful people so it has been so long it feels like since I made a video it some of your party like I forgot I was even sub to this girl but anyways I’ll watch this video because it’s Christmas ring probably for you but yeah I know I actually have been sick for a really long time and I didn’t know what was going on I had like really bad AB pain down here like seriously like all down my lower abs and I I kept losing my voice and I’m a teacher and so it was horrible like I literally was using a text-to-speech program at school because I didn’t want to miss school and I couldn’t talk my tonsils were huge for forever and I got I went to the doctors so many tons and after the fourth visit to the doctor I finally um got diagnosed with mono and it’s made sense for all this time why I’ve been so sick and like what’s been going on and so yes I’ve been finally just like resting and and giving my body what it needs to just take time to do literally nothing but sleep and so that’s where I’ve been and yeah so that’s that really quick just wanting to say that that’s where I where I’ve been and yeah in that time off I had time to do like an Instagram Q&A type of thing because I was bored and I was like I love you guys I want to talk to you so I answer some of your questions and one of the questions that I got was like literally this girl was like hey I started dating someone what’s your advice for me and I talked about how it’s important not to just have and keep you know physical boundaries in relationships but also spiritual and emotional and I got so many DMS and comments and stuff out into that like that go what bag does that mean like how do you have spiritual and emotional boundaries and I was like you know what I’m gonna make a video so I finally had enough energy today to sit down and film this and so I have everything ready and yeah it’s it’s ready to go here we go it’s exciting so yeah this is the topic that a lot of people don’t talk about that’s why I am like really excited to be talking about this and have the energy to do this because so many people just when they talk about purity and sex and like wait until marriage it’s a smart wise thing to do like God wants you to wait you know man people only pretty much talk about the physical part of that the physical part of purity the physical part about guarding your heart you probably know the verse in the Bible that says guard your heart for this wellspring of life which is a verse in Proverbs which is great but it’s not just about physical stuff and sex is not just a physical act with another person God created sex to be something that’s a emotional spiritual and physical thing three things and when you get married that’s something that God gave to people as a gift to have and when you have sex it’s it’s kind of like a symbolic way of like tying your souls together coming together as one but it’s not just physically coming to you there’s one it’s emotionally spiritually tying your souls together as one that’s why it’s so incredibly important that when you are dating someone you guard your heart because like if you’re not married to another person you are your own two separate people God is working in this person’s heart in your heart separately he’s doing different things and if the time is right if it’s his will he’s gonna bring you together right and that’s when you can tie yourselves together literally bind your souls together with that person emotionally physically spiritually but until that time comes you are two separate people and he has a guard your heart and be very careful and wise about the boundaries that you set in place for your heart that was a lot it does a lot so I’m gonna break it down here there are three different boundaries that I think it’s wise to have in a relationship if you were just dating someone now this doesn’t mean that like I don’t want you to think about this in like a negative way like you are not gonna get married to this person you’re 16 or however old you are you shouldn’t even like think you’re gonna marry this person just you’re you’re gonna break up going this with a mindset of you’re gonna break up that’s why you need to have these boundaries that’s not what I’m saying it off my parents met my mom was 15 my dad was 17 and they’ve been married for 30-plus years okay so you can meet your spouse when you are young I don’t want you to go into a relationship when you’re young thinking well this is just like a test run and it doesn’t matter and we’re gonna break up anyway that’s why we have these boundaries you know you have these boundaries because you couldn’t marry this person but until that time comes you need to guard yourself guard your heart physically spiritually emotionally until that time that right time that right season like the Bible teaches comes so I’m gonna be talking about what I do in my relationship with my boyfriend Zach we have tried our hardest to like be wise in these three areas not just you know we’re only doing this before marriage physically it’s like we’ve also like sat down and talked about okay what emotional and spiritual boundaries should we set up as well not because we think we’re gonna break up and this is why we need to do it but because we want to protect the other person’s heart in our own heart just like the Bible teaches until the time is right for us to come together right that’s God’s well so yeah I just want to say that these are gonna be things for me that we do in my relationship but like every one is different they’re not gonna look the same for every one your emotional boundaries might be different than mine or your spiritual boundaries might be different than mine I don’t want to become like a legalistic thing where it has to be this this is my thing that I’ve decided and I felt as the wisest for us but like it could change it could be different for you because we’re different people and so I don’t want this to be like you have to do this but this is what I do in my relationship and so you can take it and think on it pray on it and figure it out for yourself you have to do that on your own okay say got me just saying all right so the first out of the three I’m gonna be talking about is physical and this is going to be super quick because you didn’t come to hear the physical stuff you came to hear about the other two because those the ones that don’t get talked about as often so SuperDuper quick I’m just gonna skim over this I’ve done other videos on purity if you want to go check those out I’ll link all the things below where I talked about sex and stuff before anyway farthest I’m going with Zach farthest he we both knew this but by the way before we started dating each other I mean if it had been different for him if he had been planning on going farther I would have said nope SIA or not datin right like that’s might sound harsh but that’s that’s how it is for me so yeah the farthest that we are both playing and going before marriage is kissing that is it that is it and that is what we’ve decided is the wisest for us um until we get married and that’s pretty much all I have to say about that like I said other videos will be linked below for you so yeah so the next one I want to talk about is emotional and this again I don’t want it to be like a legalistic thing or if you’ve done this before you’re a horrible person and this is the wake-up once it for sure like this is what I’ve decided for myself the end okay Zach and I don’t ever talk about like our future together we don’t talk about our kids names that we’re gonna you know name our children right one day that is something in my heart like I’ve thought about right I’ve thought about where where I want to get married and I thought about when I want to get married and like what its gonna look like at my wedding day and different things in my future in terms of my wedding you’re like future with family and different things like that I don’t talk about that was that because I feel like that is something that like those are my desires those are my dreams and my goals or whatever it is with family you know and that stuff that is something that’s in the future that is mine right now and that is not something that I need to share with Zach right now and it’s come up before we we’ve started to talk about it and it’s been a thing where we’ve kind of like when you go too far physically or like you’re about to go and you have to say whoa we need to stop we need to tap out right here right now we’ve had to kind of do that it’s not like oh my gosh what are you doing or like a freak out thing right it’s just kind of like we need to we need to stop and this is something that emotionally like we need to guard our hearts against for right now because we’re not married to each other and one day if that can I do get engaged then that is something that we can talk about right like there is a time for it and a place for it and I just think for right now like that’s something that we’ve both decided he’s not here but I’m just right there in the picture we’ve decided between the two of us is the wisest thing so in terms of like the future you don’t share that kind of thing and I kind of like to think of it like physical stuff like when I share my heart with Zach that is an intimate thing that’s when i emotionally share parts of things that i desire my future in and whatnot I’m giving part of my heart away too and that’s an emotional intimate thing and so that’s what the Bible says like guard your heart against that you need to be careful that you’re not giving too much of yourself emotionally to another person until the time is right so that’s one thing emotionally I would say I’m trying to think of another example of something that we’ve said I guess just something and this is gonna be super ambiguous and people aren’t gonna like that but like there are certain things that I don’t need to tell Zach and it’s kind of on the same line but there are some things that right now I should just talk to my mom about or I should just talk to you my best girlfriend about like in terms of things emotionally that I maybe struggle with that it’s something that needs to be like girl to girl kind of thing because that can die are not married we’re not you know soul tied partners yet that’s saying that I go to my mom about or my bestfriend about who’s a girl there are just things that I think it’s wise to go to another girl about and one day when you’re married it would make sense to go to your partner for that but for right now and I know that super broad because I’m not giving specific examples but I feel like you just know you just know what I’m talking about so like yeah that’s something you got to be careful about too is not going to them about every single thing exactly talk about so much so much and the communication is incredibly important but like we don’t share absolutely everything so that’s something to just be careful about all right the last one is spiritually and this is one that I feel like people might get upset at me about because they won’t agree and that’s okay if you don’t agree with me this is again my take on this so spiritually we do not do like one-on-one Bible studies me and Zack together we don’t study like the book of Hebrews together one-on-one in a coffee shop and the reason why we don’t do that is because when you study something like the Word of God which is so like incredibly important in your life is literally founded on this book and you study it together that is an incredibly intimate thing to do because it’s such a like literally like the Bible overflows into every area of your life and so when you study it with one other person you become very connected to them spiritually and emotionally that’s a lot of different things and you can really say physically too because if you’re together close like that in the coffee shop maybe holding hands it’s like it’s all very connected and you have to be very careful not to do that when it’s not the right time or context because studying the Bible is a beautiful thing and it’s not a bad thing I don’t want you to think like oh my gosh like is it bad that I’ve been doing that I don’t want to make you feel badly if you’ve been doing that but you have to be very careful because it’s such an intimate thing to do with another person for a SAP can I like over the summer he was in a guy’s Bible study and I was in a girl’s Bible study through our church and it was awesome like literally at the same house the guys went to one part of it and the girls went to the other part and we were all studying different books of the Bible but like with like different groups like that and it was great and like he was growing spiritually I was growing spiritually and like with people who are sit and gender and like people who are pushing us in whatever it’s all great but like we weren’t doing it together and I think that’s important like I said because you have to be careful about mixing that stuff together and I don’t mean to make it about the negative thing like oh you could break up but like it is very very hard when you have tied your soul like together with someone studying the Bible in depth with one other person of the opposite gender like it’s very hard when you break up to break that bond and break that just spiritual intimacy that you guys had together I’ve seen it with friends of mine and who have like done tons of Bible studies together and broken up in different things and for me like in little ways I had little spiritual bonds with people that I didn’t guard my heart enough against I would say that make sense I’ve just seen it in my own life and especially in some of my best best friend’s lives who have broken up with people so be very careful about studying the Bible together and praying together all the time I don’t think it’s bad to like pray before meals that can I do that but like don’t make sure you’re not just praying with that person only that’s the only time the thing about Zach that love is just one of the many things is he always says if that guy like you better be praying for me as much as I’m praying for you like he kind of says it like jokingly like you better be praying is right over like he prays for me all the time and like I don’t even know how much but like that’s part of the beauty of it like he has his own thing going with God and I have my own thing going with God and like I pray for him every single day and really like if you love someone and you want to spend the rest of your life with someone you should be on your knees in prayer for them every single day like that is incredibly important to do that and that’s what we do we have our own separate relationships right now with the Lord and if it’s his will one day we will come together and emotionally physically spiritually come together tire souls together and it’ll be awesome but for right now we have those kind of separate so yeah like I said we do pray at meals and like he prayed for me before we knew what was wrong with me I was like II prayed over that and we went up and got prayer together and different things but like but like I don’t know it’s just important to be careful not to do everything just you two together one-on-one have your separate things have your relationships with God separate because people who are dating and not married were not created to do everything together intimately we were created to come together with people right in the right time in the right context but it’s it’s when it’s the right time that’s what’s important so I was definitely rambling in this video but I really really pray that this video helps you I was literally on my knees before I started record in prayer I was just like God even if I mess up in rainbow Lord you just do your thing to the people who are watching so seriously I love you and I say this because I love you that much and I just want I just want to do what seriously she say that sounds like I just want to reflect God in my relationship with Zack and I want you to do the same thing if you are chasing after the Lord – I want you to do that – and that’s why I make this not to make it seem like I know everything and I you know have my perfect relationship with Zap like I don’t and we are two imperfect people and I just want to help and encourage you or I don’t know I don’t know I’m rambling now but I do I do love you and I promise this comes from a good place in my heart so I hope that that shows and yeah if you have any questions or any more input definitely let me know below I love reading the comments from you guys and I love to hear what your thoughts are about maybe what you do physically spiritually emotionally whatever in your relationships because I’m growing and learning – so let me know what you think I love you and I hope you have a great day and know that you are so loved and so beautiful I wake up this morning needed knows the truth yesterday my cup was full then they leave then utley dull on the flow before I could sip it I slipped and I broke my head crack my skull open saw my thoughts rolling say my prayers dog where the Hulk Hogan thought you stress is not a house smoking