My Deepest Struggle as a Single Christian Woman // Dating & Marriage #ConversationCorner EP.2

hi everyone I hope you are well welcome back to another episode of conversation corner last time I covered my dark skin story part two and this time I’m gonna be talking about my I would say my current struggle as a Christian what I’m gonna do now is I’m just gonna speak from my heart because this is this is a hot issue I think I’m gonna be speaking from my heart I think that is exactly what makes it relatable if you for any reason are afraid of honesty or transparency maybe this isn’t the video for you but if you are ready to jump at the opportunity to relate and connect on a deeper level than surface level then I think this is the video for you okay so first of all I truly believe in God I believe in all that he has planned for us I believe in his will his word I believe that he knows what’s best for us and that he has a plan for each and every one of our lives but knowing that doesn’t stop us from doubting sometimes especially being surrounded by realities and by thing’s factual things that you can literally you’re literally seen before your eyes that you’re literally experiencing that doesn’t stop us from from nothing and it feels like God just isn’t coming through or opportunities are presenting themselves or even if you are putting yourself out there it’s not really working so I think being a Christian has saved me in certain respects but at the same time has been not the easiest of situations okay so as you may or may not know I am currently in my mid-twenties I would say and I’m kind of looking for that partner in my life where I’m at least keeping my eyes open for that partner I think I’ve kind of always done that I was a bit shut off a while ago just so that I could use that as an excuse to people who were interested in me in any way just so that I didn’t really have to explain my whole situation of waiting for the right person being a Christian wanting things a certain way as I use kind of like I’m not dating to 2017 as I guess an excuse I guess as a maybe to procrastinate in a way to procrastinate being active being researching or actively engaging in opportunities to meet people I guess there’s a few things that I want to achieve by the end of the year that I wanted to I wanted to complete so I guess it was half excuse and half kind of a purposeful purposeful statement so I found that meeting someone and dating in the church and as a Christian is not the easiest thing I personally have never did anyone from the church dated any Christian or dated anybody for that matter and that’s actually just how it’s been for me I have gone on a couple of dates with a couple of people but it’s just never worked I always had that desire to get married I’ve always had the desire to be a wife I’ve always had that in me that I don’t just want to be like and I don’t just want to be single I don’t want to be like I don’t think I’m cool to singleness but at the same time I feel like singleness is just the way is for me I have for myself out there on Christian websites on non-christian websites in various ways because some of my friends met their spouses there has the current husbands on Christian websites so I thought wow okay I need to try the society to give it a good girl because in the past I always signed up to these websites I just immediately log off like after like a day or so I just log off and I just delete my account I always had this idea that a man in the church can literally seek out any woman he wants and he can go for that but as for women it’s almost like we’ve been taught well the Bible kind of says that we should wait upon our but as our guy that comes at the sees us and being pursued is it makes me feel special it makes you feel wanted it makes you feel like you really were a treasure to be found and so I think that being pursued is important and it’s kind of important to me to know that a guy actually really would want to be with me I would say it’s very important otherwise if I’m the one who’s making all the initiations then it feels like I’m almost in mine in the relationship I’m the one in control I am the head of the house I’m the leader so it’s kind of important for a guy to take control I think sometimes maybe don’t realize the kind of influence and the Medical Authority godly authority that they have and end up missing out on good women either these men are shy or they or they don’t really know what to look for in a woman well that woman isn’t perfect that woman is too fat that woman is too skinny that woman is too dark to like I don’t know that woman is basically not an athletic enough or she’s not the she’s not that perfect woman I feel like this conflict from various angles it’s like I’m this Christian woman and I’m waiting for a Christian man and at the same time judging from my past in the church being that I’ve never dated anybody in the church I’ve never dated Christian by my track record I should learn a lesson and I should look further afield than the church or them within within the Christian circle judging from my past that I should look at that and be smart enough to know that but to consider the fact that I may not actually meet that Christian man that I keep searching for but I feel at the same time I do believe in what God has planned and I do believe in it’s waiting and having faith there’s so many examples of people waiting in the Bible and and really really trusting God to come through on his word that me saying that now I should consider my other I should consider other options it almost looks silly compared to how long people have waited in your Bible I don’t want to go to church thinking right this Sunday I might meet that man of my dreams I might meet that Boaz I might meet that guy I kind of made that decision that I would go to church to fellowship to worship and to serve and to just be present in that moment because going there to look for a spouse like specifically to look for a spouse is more like an uncertain say if you were to go to your friend or to your pastor or to your mom or to anyone and say I’m going to church to look for my husband that would actually be looked down upon because it’s almost like you’re this hungry animal is like so desperate in the reality of it that is actually what people do people actually do go to church to kind of meet the person that they get on with best for like the rest of their life they have so made the partner their spouse the love of their life but if you can only go when you don’t make it clear that that is what you’re doing on the other hand it’s like men can almost make it clear that maybe this is what they’re doing or say to a friend and the friend won’t judge them for doing that whereas of course with women they might say no that’s the wrong way to go about it and that’s really and that’s almost desperate I feel like a lot of the time women are more prepared to accept more false or I would say imperfections in men than with the men are prepared to accept the imperfections in women and that’s because men are more visual and women kind of look more at the character now the sun’s back and so with all that being said I want to kind of propose a more of a conversation than a teaching or preaching what you guys think about this situation in the church do you find it easy you say for the positive experience and how do you feel about waiting I’d like to know your thoughts and I’m keen to have this discussion because I feel some of us get impatient and we end up going for the men that are not Christians in the men that don’t really have the same values as us when really we should be waiting for the right person person who has the same values and the same beliefs anyway leave your comments your questions and basically anything and I will get back to you thanks for watching everyone and I see