5 Signs of a “Christian” Player

hey everyone I’m mark from apply God’s Word calm a place where we apply the Bible to real life and in this episode we’re going to talk about five ways you can spot a player now when we think of a player we usually think of men but don’t worry I’m actually going to be talking about ladies – there there are women players as well so these tips aren’t really gender specific they can be applied to either men or women now the first red flag of a player is that the one a date you before getting to know you now you have to ask yourself this question if someone likes you without even really knowing you you have to ask why why do they like me if they only know superficial things about you it probably means they only like you for superficial reasons now I don’t think you need to be friends with somebody for years before dating them or you only have to be in group settings before dating somebody or you have to know everything about them before asking them out on a date but I do think it’s a red flag if someone asks you out on a date or just instantly goes really serious with you without even really knowing you the second dead giveaway of a player is that they’ll send you mixed signals one minute they’ll send you a flirtatious text that really makes it feel like they really like you and then maybe a day later you shoot them a text and they don’t respond to you for like three days I think a lot of players are like fishermen they kind of when you have a fish on the line you don’t just yank it up because that tension might pull the hook out what a fisherman does is he brings him in and then lets a little bit of lineout realism in more lets that line out and what he’s doing is he’s wearing down the fish so it’s easier to make that final catch once it gets there so I think a player does the same thing he gives you a some compliment and then he takes it back gives you a compliment then kind of takes it back gives you a signal that he likes you and then you know gives a signal that he’s really not that interested and then finally when he makes the final move you feel blessed and privileged that he actually is committing and opening up that he really likes you so you want to be careful of somebody who’s playing games I’m mature Christian is it gonna play games if they really like you they’re just gonna say hey you know I like you I like to go on a date with you I’d like to see where this goes and I’m looking to get into a godly marriage one day I just want to see where it goes with you I’m gonna say just like that but somewhere in there it’s gonna be very clear they’re not gonna play these immature games that players do the third big red flag of a player is that they’ll want intimacy without commitment now I think it’s a little bit easier to sense when a player is just after your body that sexual tension that that sexual drive is a little bit easier to spot but I also think there’s an emotional intimacy that should be protected when you’re you know not married in the Bible intimacy and commitment are always paired together and so when commitment Rises it’s it’s okay for intimacy to arise when intimacy Rises without commitment that’s where sin and damage and hurt starts taking place so again you can see that real clearly with you know sex and sexual intimacy you know premarital sex is a sin sex within marriage is good because you’ve made that that giant commitment that biggest commitment that you can make to somebody in a the covenant of marriage but that same principle applies to emotional intimacy a player will leach emotion emotional intimacy off of his victim he’ll want you know he’ll be fishing for compliments he’ll you know give you a call or she’ll give you a car what you wants to feel good about herself so you want to be careful with those people who want intimacy but aren’t actually committing to you number four a player will manipulate your deepest desires they’ll figure out what you want and make false hope around those desires that you have you know in the art of war it’s common and knowledge that the way to win is to find your enemies we this and exploit that weakness so well players going to figure out what you really care about maybe you really care about marriage maybe you really care about having a family one day maybe you really care about a certain cause or a certain ministry in the world a player will drop little lines here and there about those things to manipulate your desires somehow you guys will always be you know having little conversations about marriage what what kind of colors do you want on your wedding day or where do you want to go on a honeymoon and all these different types of little things that start awakening desires in you or they’ll start dropping lines about how they just can’t wait to teach their kids how to play soccer or do crafts with them and all these little manipulative things that are playing on your emotions so you want to be careful with somebody who is talking about the future too much and just playing on your emotions to manipulate you the fifth and final red flag that I would be aware of that players often do is that they avoid your family and close friends a player wants to get you alone because you’re more vulnerable alone when a wolf is trying to take down a sheep he’s trying to get that sheep away from the flock so if a guy or a girl just doesn’t really has no interest in in the people that you really care about and that really love you that’s a huge red flag somebody who actually likes you and is interested in a long term relationship with you is gonna want to meet your family it’s gonna want to meet your mom meet your dad know your close friends a player is just going to want to be around you they’re not gonna have any interest in your social community all right well these are just five quick tips on how to avoid a player pray about it read your word and go with your gut usually you can tell when something’s too good to be true that same principle applies in relationships if it feels too good to be true it probably is well I’m mark from apply God’s Word calm if you enjoyed this video don’t forget to hit that subscribe button we’re making new videos every week so I don’t want you to miss out also feel free to hit that thumbs up and leave us a comment if you have any questions about relationships or the Bible or Christian we’re just about life in general feel free to leave us a line in the comment section or you can even email me or contact me on Facebook or Twitter I’ll leave some links in the description of this video for more ways to interact with a by God’s Word calm well thanks for watching and God bless