How to NOT screw up a relationship | Christian Dating Tips

everybody welcome back to the channel on today’s episode we’re going to be talking about how to not screw up your relationship in fact we’re gonna be giving you guys 7 very practical tips on how to make sure that your relationships are as healthy as possible and so that they don’t just die a miserable death so state tip number one is don’t get into relationship in the first place it’s kind of a crazy way to approach it but the point that we’re trying to say is that every single person is imperfect in certain ways everyone has baggage everyone has issues so if you want to have a quote-unquote perfect relationship that’s kind of an unrealistic expectation because no one is perfect and so you got to realize that going into a relationship you’re gonna have to learn just learn about yourself as well as learning about the other person and really learning how to work together better in a relationship tip number two is to admit when you are wrong and to try best to be the bigger person yes it’s a lot harder in a relationship to say I was wrong first we can be self-centered a little prideful but when I’ve done this in a relationship when I’ve practiced this it goes a lot smoother in the end and it gets resolved quicker when I was in Bible College something that they taught us was that a lot of times relationships are like a seesaw you have one person on each side and what happens is when you’re the first person to say hey you know what I was wrong I’m sorry will you forgive me what happens is the weight shifts the other person and oftentimes if you’ve picked the right kind of a person a good-hearted person that person will then turn around say you know what I forgive you I’m sorry as well and so one of the best ways to help you resolve a conflict is to be the first person to say I was wrong I’m sorry tip number three is being quick to forgive yeah this is a difficult one sometimes it’s difficult to forgive in the moment but we’re not only talking about forgiving that one time in the moment I’m talking about things that pile up over time where you know what you forgave them once but a week later they do the same thing or maybe a month or two or three months later they’re kind of doing it over and over as you get frustrated it’s easier to kind of pull the garage and to be upset with that person but when it comes to forgiving someone you want to be able to forgive them over and over and over again of course many seven times seven yeah seven seventy times seven exactly we were talking about in the scriptures where Jesus says hey you got to forgive someone 70 times seven times in other words Jesus has forgiven us so many times why shouldn’t we be able to forgive someone else now of course as a clarification we’re not talking necessarily in cases of like domestic abuse or anything else like that there are certain boundaries to this but on average you want to forgive not hold grudges and to be able to have a fresh start with each relationship tip number four is to check yourself yes you want to check yourself at a relationship are you an impatient person actually do you have a short fuse are you quick to get angry this can arise really quickly in conflict and sometimes you just need to like take a step back check yourself and calmly approach the situation yeah being really self-aware is something that really helps if you can bring that to the relationship dynamic you know your strengths you also know your weaknesses and you know where you’re likely going to be tripping up and so if you know what your weakness is then you can really do your best to combat that at the very beginning of things before things get out of hand tip number five is to avoid being passive-aggressive yes and I don’t generally put a struggle with this I see something happen and I just don’t want to say something right away or I let things bottle up too much over time and I’m too quiet about it and this is a passive-aggressive way of dealing with things and it’s not healthy yeah in fact when we first got married you know she wouldn’t necessarily confront me when things were going wrong but I would notice things were wrong when I’m working on the computer and then I started hearing a lot of commotion in the background here yeah damn slam and I hear all of these like kitchen utensils being slammed and rowers being slammed I’m like what is going on here and then I’m like oh she’s upset I did something wrong she hasn’t been able to tell me about it yet so I’ll go over and say hey what did i do like what’s going on yeah yeah if you end up like keeping that in all the time and letting it bottle up over and over and over what happens is it actually will lead to resentment into a relationship and every time you see that person you’re just like frustrated even though nothing is happening that day because you haven’t deal dealt with all the previous stuff because you’ve been passive-aggressive that leads to resentment resentment that leads to kind of a distrust and a distaste for that person and no one wants to be married to someone or no one’s being a relation with someone that they you know distrust or if they have resentment towards number six is cheating physically or even with your thoughts and eyes yeah well it’s obviously the immediately obvious thing is you know when cheating in a relationship sexually or anything else like that but you are much more than just a sexual being you are a mental or spiritual you are an emotional being and so you want to when you’re married to someone be fully committed to that person give them everything of you and not just certain parts of it and so you want to try and really make sure you have healthy boundaries to make sure that you’re not like crossing the line in other relationships and other ways yeah and that can avoid jealousy as well from the other spouse I tend to get jealous really easily so I don’t know if you do but I do and so just being open and honest and avoiding those situations and then those temptations can really be helpful and something that I’ve found that is helped at least in our relationship is in the moments where I do fail in those areas where emotional boundaries are something like along those lines I come to you and I say hey I’m just growing up with us I’m messing up this can you help me can you pray for me help me get through this and being honest about that I’m not just kind of sweeping it under the rug actually helps kind of a work through those situations yeah another one Before we jump into our last tip of the listview actually wanted to hear from you guys what are some tips and tricks that you suggest to helping your relationship be strong and healthy and not really like sabotaging your own relationship let us know in the comment section below but with that said our last tip is to not talk about personal issues with anyone outside of the marriage that includes family or friends co-workers anyone like that yes this could be challenging especially for us ladies who have a fiery mouth and just like love to tell our girlfriends every deep dark secret but you really want to tame your tongue and not talk about your husband’s struggles your personal struggles sexual struggles in your marriage to other people and just be real confidential in I’m secretive about it yeah you want to make sure that you do everything that you can to not erode trust in a relationship and a lot of times if you try and say something or work through something with your spouse in a confidential manner and then you find out oh my goodness they’ve been talking to their to their mother or their best friend about this and I trusted them a lot of times I can really cause the person to shut down and not be as open and as vulnerable in the future and that’s not really a great recipe when it comes to marriage but where that said those are just a few tips that we thought it would help you guys and again we’re interested in hearing your thoughts let us know your tips in the comment section below but until next time we’re that Christian vlogger and we encourage you to experience faith in the first person god bless