How Important Is Physical Attraction in a Christian Relationship?

hey everyone I’m mark from apply God’s Word calm a place where we apply the Bible to your life recently I was contacted by an a GW subscriber and their question can basically be summarized as how important should physical attraction be in a dating relationship or in a marriage so the scenario he explained to me was that there’s someone in the church that he goes to that he really gets along with well he senses that she kind of likes him and he does have some feelings towards her the question that he had was is that she’s really not the type of person that he’s most attracted to there’s a certain body type that he is just physically more attracted to naturally she’s not bad-looking she’s an attractive person but she just doesn’t fit the normal mold of the type of the girl that he is normally attracted to so he asked me is this wrong as the shallow should what should I do in this situation so I told him five different things that I’m gonna share with you the first one is the advice that his mentor gave him when he asked his mentor this question which I commend him for he was asking around trying to get good information on on this topic and I encourage you to do the same thing ask people in your life if you’re being balanced or shallow in this area but basically what his mentor said was hey there’s nothing wrong with just getting to know her more maybe the more you get to know her the more physically attracted you’ll be I think a lot of times in Christian circles we take dating so seriously that we kind of stall out the process because we’re not willing to just investigate more if it in a relationship maybe if you got to know her more maybe if you got to know her personality more your feelings will start to change but you’re so you know you elevated the idea of dating so high that you’re kind of frozen and you’re just stuck so I do think dating is important and it can lead to a lot of problems if you don’t take it serious enough but I would just caution you that there nothing wrong with going out going out on a few dates with somebody just to see if anything happens in the big scheme of things if you investigate and go on a date or two and you find out that you both aren’t romantically interested in each other anymore it’s really not that big of a deal so I encourage you just check it out if you’re in this situation the second thing I would say is really just my opinion I don’t really have a Bible verse to back this up but I would say that you do need to be physically attracted to your spouse but I don’t think that your spouse needs to be your exact type so I think that you’re probably going a little bit too far if she need us doesn’t have a certain you know form in her body that what you like or if you’re a woman the guy just maybe isn’t quite as tall as you would like or maybe he’s too tall I mean those are important things I guess if those things really matter to you but I would say the big scheme of things if you’re generally attracted to them I would say that that’s enough I would also say that when you start being nitpicky about things like this you might be single for a long time the more requirements you have of somebody the less likely you’re actually gonna find somebody who exists that you can actually date 0.3 I think it’s probably the most helpful point and biblically-based point physical attraction will not lead to a great Christian relationship but a great Christian relationship will increase your physical attraction so again let me say that again the the physical attraction doesn’t equate to a great relationship but if you have a great relationship because you’re both mature Christians and you enjoy each other’s company the physical attraction will rise as well prop proverbs 31:30 for example says charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised and of course that goes both ways a guy’s huh you know if he’s handsome that’s not gonna last forever so I would say that in a marriage you want the the cold that’s going to be lighting that fire and that passion in that relationship not to be based on physical attraction but to be based on Christ and mutual respect and the commitment that you’re making to one another in marriage so there’s it’s more important that you that you connect with somebody than it is that you’re just physically attracted to them and that really leads us into point for physical attraction is important but there are more important things in a Christian relationship than that so I kind of like to think of this as a scale you know if you’re trying to gauge whether or not you should progress into dating with somebody each quality I think needs to have some weight to it are they a Christian that needs to have a lot of weight in the equation are they very good fruit for Christ again a lot of weight should be on that quality other qualities like physical attraction I think are important they should have some weight to them but not as much weight as these other things so as you’re gauging if you want to date somebody how important is physical attraction it is important but it’s not as important as some of these other things revolving their character and their personality traits that you enjoy the fifth and final tip I will give you on this topic of how important is physical attraction in a dating relationship or a marriage is that it’s good to think about what Jesus said in Luke 6 verse 31 he said treat others as you would want to be treated so in other words you should be able to stay balanced in how much importance you’re putting on someone else’s appearance by thinking of how you would feel if they were using your standard on you if you would be comfortable with them judging you the way that you’re judging them on your physical appearance then you’re probably in a safe zone if you would be offended and felt like you were getting sinfully judged against or they were you know putting too much weight on your physical appearance well obviously that’s a sign that you’re due the same thing so treat others the way you would want to be treated people you know person you want to be with should be attracted to you but they shouldn’t just like you for superficial reasons well again I’m mark from a pockets were calm if you enjoyed this video make sure you hit that subscribe button well thanks for watching and God bless [Music]