GODLY DATING ADVICE FROM COLLEGE GUY | Cole LaBrant

what’s up guys I am in my car this week because I was going to make the video outside but for some reason it’s freezing in Alabama today so I did a Twitter poll asking what you guys wanted me to talk about and godly relationships / dating advice um heavily one so that’s what we’re gonna talk about a little bit but I’m gonna kind of break it down for you guys as far as um expectations that have and standards uphold and things to look for and uh just a lot of different things along the dating relationships if you start like how I am pretty much right now if you start being single something that even being single or not being single um definitely need to have is expectations every person needs to uphold um expectations that they expect in a person and it really can’t be unrealistic expectations of where you’re expecting perfection but they definitely need to be I think perfect for you I have expectations of my own and everybody’s expectations are going to be different but you know for an example if you expect someone to be extremely joyful then I don’t think that you should settle for somebody who’s kind of joyful or if you expect somebody to be crazy crazy fun you shouldn’t settle for somebody who’s kind of fun and that’s a big problem with our society today that were so anxious to get into a relationship that we settle for someone who fits kinda those characteristics and kind of those qualities instead of waiting for someone who meets those expectations like you really want them to faith shouldn’t never be a negotiable I think that if you’re a Christian you shouldn’t date a non-christian as simple as that who you’re dating should be a reflection of yourself because dating is practice for marriage and whoever you marry it’s not you’re gonna try and change them whenever they you’re married because what if they don’t change then you’re stuck married with them and it’s very similar it’s very similar it’s very similar to dating um you should date someone who represents you really well um I know that in a lot of cases opposites attract I’m not sure if that’s true or not that’s what I’ve always heard um in my case that’s not it at all I want somebody who is so much like me I’m a I’m a weirdo I’m a crazy guy I’m gonna go out and embarrass whoever I’m with 24/7 I’m gonna have a lot of fun and I don’t want someone who’s like the opposite of that because I’m not attracted to that and maybe some people are but um that’s just an expectation that I have and that I’m not going to settle for so definitely expectations is so key in a relationship don’t settle for anything less than you deserve another you hear that all the time and it’s so cliche but talking is practice for dating and dating is practice for marriage so if you don’t take those things seriously in the small scale then as you work your way up to big-time talking than dating the big time dating and then it’s like oh crap it’s marriage time and nothing’s really serious and now I’m kind of stuck with a loser then uh it’s your fault you gotta realize that this is your life this is the person that you’re gonna spend forever with so you know don’t have standards so high that you’re gonna be single forever but definitely wait for that person that is awesome so awesome um that’s so important we hear this all the time um I want my boyfriend my girlfriend my wife my husband to be my best friend and again that’s kind of cliche you hear it all the time but I think that whenever you really think about it that’s not true in so many cases like oh but I think about about my best friend probably my best friend is John Stephen he’s my roommate we’ve been friends since we were kids and he’s the guy that I can be the craziest person around I mean whenever we’re together it’s the funnest thing ever and I mean we try to outdo each other how weird we are pretty much uh we fart on each other we burn I mean it’s it’s it’s really bad but we have so much fun and he’s my best friend so whenever I think about my future wife I gotta think whatever girl I’m would I gotta have just as much if not more fun with her than I do with John Stephen and that’s hard because I have I honor I don’t think I’ve ever met a girl to where I have more fun with someone than my best friend can my best friend John Stephen now obviously if you’re a guy you’re gonna share special things with guys that you can’t with a girl and if you’re a girl special things with girls that you can’t with a guy but until you become best friends I think that’s so much more important than any type of infatuation or anything because the honeymoon stages say will only last so long if you’ve been dating someone a year or two years and you still don’t know if they’re the one they’re probably not the one cuz I feel like you kind of know pretty right off the bat whether someone was the one um obviously is gonna take some time to UM see how they are in certain situations and if they fit those qualities for you I have so many friends who have been in relationships for so long maybe a year two years three years and they don’t know if that person’s the one and I don’t even know if they’ve really considered it but it’s like I’ve been with them so long I’ve already spent so many years with them they they must be the one and I think that’s such an awful way to look at it because if you’re 19 20 21 or even just 17 18 years old you’ve been with someone for several years okay maybe you spent a few years with the wrong person but it’s better than spending the next 60 70 years with that wrong person because trust me if you’re already having doubtful feelings about them now those are only gonna multiply with years of jobs and kids and stress and other things you need to work through that it’s already tough enough whenever you are with the perfect person it’s gonna be that much harder interview with someone who’s a loser patience is so important when waiting for a relationship you got a better yourself for the person that you want whoever you want you gotta be able to live up to that expectation of what they are probably looking for so whenever you’re waiting for that person don’t just wait um better yourself God will bring you that person when you are ready and I think that if God hasn’t brought you that person yet then you’re obviously not ready and I think that’s something that is so awesome with God is that he knows whenever we are ready for that perfect person so don’t go out looking for him or her if you’re not ready better yourself and then whenever you’re ready you gotta bring your job remember you find someone who is so awesome like that and you’re like wow this person is great don’t fool around with other people don’t text other people don’t snapchat other people I’m not saying that you can’t talk to other people but if you think that this person could be the one then invest your time and who you are and just finding out if they are the one do you believe that there is the one person for you you know that that one that perfect person that God created just for you and I personally believe that there is not just that one person for you um there are lots of good girls that I have met awesome girls godly girls nice girls smart girls fun girls that I have met who I can honestly probably marry and it would be a good wife and a good mom and we’d have a good marriage together but I do believe that there is another girl out there who is better for me and that they’re better for someone else um so I think that for you guys you got to think maybe you have a guy or a girl in mining you think man I could probably marry this person and I think that’s a wrong way to look at it because so many times you think yeah I can probably marry this person so that must mean that they’re the one but I think there’s lots of people that we could probably marry and it’d be okay but I think that you need to think and this mindset I couldn’t imagine not marrying him but they are so perfect that I I would be furious if they married anyone else and I couldn’t imagine life without them it makes you think that all the other people in the past that you have dated or considered dating or considered even marrying it makes you laugh at the idea that I think thank God none of those other things worked out because this person is so much better and I know that there’s nothing about setting boundaries I know that you hear that a lot boundaries you know as a kid we think that boundaries are limiting us and sheltering us and keeping us in this little ball and we hate him and we hate him that’s be older we realize that boundaries are what sets us free that boundaries keep us safe and that boundaries are what you know allows us to find join the Lord and definitely as I’ve grown up I realize how important boundaries are and in a relationship boundaries are everything that if you guys can’t have fun and love each other being best friends and if it’s only on a sexual basis that is gonna die so fast like I said I’m not in a relationship but I know that I have boundaries already preset that whenever I’m around a girl that I like these are the boundaries that I’m gonna try my best uphold and as long as I’m going steady with God that we will uphold find somebody who will respect those boundaries for you because if they’re not respecting the boundaries now then they might not respect those boundaries in the future with someone else always keep God first it’s so important this video I’m not sure what I’m going to title it but something along guiley relationships um obviously keep God first and a godly relationship if God not first then it’s not a godly relationship and it will fail whether it is um through divorce or whatever it is it could just be lack of love keep God first god is love so if you keep love first then his eternal love will be able to keep your temporary love here on earth eternal so I always get that first I don’t want this to be just all me talking I want to read a couple of Bible verses for you guys mark 10 nine it says or mark 10 seven it says therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh so they are no longer two but one flesh but therefore God has joined together let no man separate that’s pretty straightforward um a man will leave his mom and dad and marry a wife and the wife vice-versa and they won’t become one and whatever those two become one I also having to a friend from Michigan and he explained it so well that he’s about to get married he’s getting married this week drew you’re awesome I wish I could come to your wedding but um whenever the two become one it’s really it should be inseparable because if you imagine the two becoming one and then for whatever the reason twenty years down the road they want to get divorced but their one could you imagine tearing apart that one to the you know the two hearts are gonna be shattered they’re gonna ripped apart it’s gonna be devastation and that’s why divorce is so destructive is because the two became one and now you are ripping that one apart what therefore God has joined together let not man separate so it is a God bond God has joined those two together let not man separate I think that’s so beautiful this is from Ephesians 5:31 it says therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh this mystery is profound and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church however let each one of you love his wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband it’s a mystery because he’s referring it to the Christ and His Church so marriage is just like Jesus and the bride and how I envisioned it is whenever a man’s waiting for his wife to come down the aisle you know she rounds the corner and the first time that they make eye contact you can watch wedding videos I’m real big on that I think it’s awesome but you look at the guy’s face and the guy’s face like lights up and he sees his bride coming down the aisle to him and it’s like such a profound mystery to say vividly and it’s the same thing with Christ in the church that whenever Jesus comes back for assault he’s going to push open the gates of heaven and there we are his bride the church waiting for him and it’s like a direct correlation between marriage and Jesus in the church and it shows the significance that God placed on marriage right now it’s all the advice and things I’m gonna talk about I don’t want to rant too much but like I said I really encourage you guys to see what the Bible says about it do your research read it for yourself see what uh God has to say to you if you guys like this video give it a thumbs up leave comments down in the comment section I want to be replying and talking with you guys down there hit me up on my social medias it’s all at me super cool where I’ll be chatting with you guys as well um thanks so much for watching I’ll be back next Thursday I hope this wasn’t too long see ya