Why every couple should date in their marriage

Dating in marriage may sound like a strange idea. No, it is not. So many married couples do not understand the importance of why they must continue to date one another in their marriage. Yet, they wonder why they are experiencing so much of irritability, stress, discontentment and frustration in their marriage.

The truth is that they have stopped doing the very thing that brought them together in the first place.

How can you have easily forgotten how you felt, before marriage, when you were going on a date with your then boyfriend/girlfriend? The preparation, the anticipation, and the butterflies? Do you remember those frequent calls and endless telephone conversations, the wake-up and night text messages, and text sent during the day at work? Those were the exciting moments. They are not just exciting, they are intentional.

How about those occasional outings to a cinema, parks museum, etc? Remember how you would spend hours and days thinking about what to wear, where you to go; what you to talk about and how the night would end. It was AWESOME!

A great marriage doesn’t simply happen. Both spouses have to be intentional in every aspect of the marriage to make it great.

After God, your marriage has to be your top priority – over the children, your job, and hobbies. If your marriage is in good health everything else will fall into place. Therefore, dating your spouse is the great way to keep your marriage at the top of your priorities list.

For most married couples, dating has become an afterthought and only happened when they had time. Going out once a month to dinner and talking about the kids is not a date. In retrospect, such outings aren’t usually planned as real dates.

Because when they did go out, the conversations were reactive. Mostly about the children, family, finances, etc. Even when the children are older and the couple has more time to be together, dating one another is not part of the agenda. At that point, a serious rut must have crippled into the marriage.

Dating does not have to expensive; in fact, you can plan and not spend a dime on a fantastic date. The quality of the date has everything to do with the amount of time you spent. It also has to do with how intentional and attentive you are to your spouse.

Another salient advice is concerning the children if you have them. Leave them at home. Same goes for your mobile phone. Both your children and your mobile phone can change a good date to a horrible one. If you must bring your phone on the date, then put them both in a purse and agree to only check them once every hour…just in case the babysitter needs you. Also, the social media can wait until the date is over, even if you want to post a photo to show off.

One dating expert who wrote about this topic suggests having a total of four dates per month: Two “fun” dates and two “working” dates. He advised that each should be responsible for planning one of the fun dates every month. “The accountability of planning one fun date a month keeps both involved in bettering our marriage.” Says the dating expert.

The solution for a relationship that is experiencing challenges may not be only praying and fasting. It should include making dating a marriage priority. Sit down with your spouse and plan one date night each over the next 30 days. Be creative in your dating ideas and try to out-do one another.

Dating is obviously not a cure-all for every marriage problem. However, it is a powerful way to attend to the health of your marriage.

Have fun and happy dating!