30 RED FLAGS IN DATING | Christian Dating and Relationship Advice | Nastasia Grace

hey guys welcome back to my channel or welcome to my channel if you’re new my name is Miss Jeff see I’m wearing a leopard print headband it makes me want to say hey all you cool cats and kittens but I won’t refrain I will refrain today I have really fun video well I think it’s fun I hope you guys think it’s fun and it is sweet white don’t mind me I’m just playing with my dog in the corner today I am Telling You 30 red flags that’s right 30 red flags in dating slasher relationship and let me put this out there these are for me personally when I was dating I am engaged I’m getting married to the love of my life the best man I will ever ever meet and I am so thrilled but that doesn’t mean I still don’t have advice for some of you guys when I was going through my singleness or dating phases and stuff like that you know the red flags that I looked for its if they don’t suit you that’s fine don’t come for me I’m not telling you what to do I’m hoping that maybe this gives you some insight maybe it’s something that you hear and you think you know I hadn’t thought of that before but I’m gonna do that too don’t come for me in the comments I’m so sick of it if you end up liking this video give it a big thumbs up don’t forget to subscribe to my channel so you never miss out on a video every time I post my Instagram is right here I’m so sorry about my dog being the noisiest ever my instagrams right here for all the behind-the-scenes in my life I post on there daily on either my feet or my story and I’m gonna start doing some more Instagram live videos which I think will be really fun to interact with you guys so make sure you go follow me over there okay I have a whole list here of like for patience so we’re just gonna get into it I list this is my list of red flags that I looked at when I was dating and that I’ve kind of established over those years of dating that I think would give some good insight so that you don’t have to get heartbroken too in certain ways that I was first one and this if you’re not gonna listen to any of the other ones or adopt any of the other ones please listen to this one as a Christian if he is not a Christian that’s a red flag if you’re not a Christian this doesn’t really apply to you obviously but if you are you consider yourself follower of Jesus that’s in my opinion a non-negotiable to go along with this if he claims to be a Christian but his life isn’t really reflecting that if he’s not really acting like a Christian and I’m not saying perfect by no means any man perfect but if he if his life isn’t even like showing that fruit that comes with the Holy Spirit and kind of acting in that way that’s a red flag to me next is he isn’t protective of you I’m gonna say you just because it’s easier but again these are my red flags I a little story time tiny little story time I dated a guy for a long time okay a very the longest relationship I had been in one night I went to Kroger after leaving his house it was late it was like 11 p.m. the Kroger was like 10 minutes from where he lived okay I go to this Kroger and there’s this guy inside following me this grown man and he kept going around and peeking around the different like aisles didn’t going and I turn around he go like this and it was the scariest thing okay I was he kept following me through the store there was a lot of other people in this store like I was so freaked out so I called this guy and then I was dating it that I was in a relation with at the time and was explaining how scared I was and everything and he goes well what do you want me to do and I was like I don’t know come here help me and he goes just have somebody walk you out and hangs up the boy goes to sleep okay little mini story time we are obviously not together anymore I’m engaged to a very very protective caring man now but like it’s what responds to difficult situations or any situation really even like the little ones in a lot of anger so I know it’s normal to have certain outbursts at things when you have a stressful day or something but if their automatic response to everything is anger and kind of like aggressive anger big red flag for me that that shows something not super great for me and this one is treats his mother his sisters his aunt the waitress all of the above with disrespect again I’m not saying that it’s like perfect you getting their arguments with your mom and stuff but in general is disrespectful to women and even if he’s not disrespectful to you yet if he was disrespectful to the waitress that movie’s mom and sisters whatever big red flag for me next one sends mixed signals let’s just have a moment of silence for all the time assume that you have been sent mixed signals thank you okay this is a real issue am i playing hard to get versus the game of you know showing enough interest that keep them no no thank you not doing it okay this one keeps you as a secret what I mean by that is like doesn’t share you on any kind of social media doesn’t share you with this family doesn’t tell his friends or family about you at all and this is not necessarily right when you start dating I know there’s kind of like a window of time where you want it before you announce it to the world you want to make sure everything’s going swimmingly all of that but it a while down months I would say sometimes even weeks down the road and nobody knows about you or if they refuse to ever share you on social media oh I had an experience that once big red flag yeah that’s a red flag to me that means like I might just be petty but I want to be showed off not as like this weird prize to be won but just because he’s proud of me he loves me that’s what Cod does he wanted to introduce I think he introduced me to his family like a week after we met and introduced me to his best friend like three days after we met like the bullet knew what he wanted and so it’s like I know that’s not always the case but if he’s keeping you a secret well at least for me if you if he was trying to keep me a secret it was not okay with me this one for me is kind of one that took me a while to realize but it’s makes makes me come to him and never comes to me I had a few of those instances in my life before I met Kai that like I would always be expected to go to their house and to leave their house late or to something you know they would never come to me and they would never put in that kind of effort and if they would it would almost be like pulling teeth for me to have them do that that was a red flag for me because it made me feel like less of a priority which leads me to my next point doesn’t make you a priority slash makes you feel like an option or strip tells you you’re an option because that happened to me before too obviously in the past not with Kai but if he’s not making your pride or a priority especially as you keep dating again not like first date second date but once your eyes are like especially like dating dating and like or even a row in a relationship and he’s not making you a priority to talk to you daily to keep in touch with you to make sure you’re good to that if he’s overwhelmed in life and something has to go that you’re not the first thing that comes to his mind that for me was it was a big thing okay this one again this is just a personal thing for me a red flag was if he drinks a lot that was a big thing for me because I see a lot of emotion behind that if somebody’s drinking constantly I’m kind of wondering what are you trying to suppress what kind of emotions or thoughts or problems are you trying to push away I know some it’s not always like that but for me that’s personal thing i I just don’t personally want that plus I don’t like the idea that you have to be drinking to have a good time because I just like to have fun sober so next one is that he is afraid to defend what he believes whether that be his faith whether that be standing up for something he just personally believes in or something like standing up for you I guess in this instance standing up for me or whatever or even if it was like he told you or told his friends or something one thing and then turns around and just doesn’t stand up for what he says or just changes his mind immediately it’s just kind of two-faced to me and that was just it was a red flag to me this one is talking about or comparing me to his ex this in a bad way is what I mean so like you know there’s gonna be times especially when you’re in a relationship that I feel like you know you’re gonna learn about each other’s pasts and you’re gonna learn why some some things bother somebody because of their past and because of maybe what their ex did to them or something that’s not exactly what I mean what I mean is especially like the first date second date whatever talking about his ex right away II that’s really bad and then comparing you in a bad way like saying why you’re just as bad as so-and-so or you’re just like so-and-so or I really liked when she did this and you don’t do that or something oh I do not get compared to a next one is always talking about himself or like arrogance in any way oh man I’m not gonna lie arrogance is probably my biggest pet peeve which is why I’m very sensitive to like if anybody ever thinks I’m seeming arrogant or privileged or something like that I take it very seriously I hurt it hurts my feelings that people think that because I do my best to humble myself as much as possible because I hate arrogance it’s just like ah oh my gosh when or when they act like I don’t know like they’re all of that and you’re just kind of like they’re sidepiece or that you’re lucky to even be with them mmm yikes girl next one is making you feel insecure for having insecurities and what I mean by that is when they make you feel bad about being insecure like I feel like oh you’re just so insecure like it I can’t take it like what do you think that’s gonna do it’s going to make me more insecure there’s nothing worse than being insecure about even having insecurities I’m sorry men if you’re watching every single girl has some kind of insecurities telling you that right now because we are fallen and so are you and so you probably have them too and and there’s a difference like if somebody if you are truly struggling with insecurities to the point that it takes over your life and you feel like you can’t trust anybody well then you know maybe take a break from dating and maybe just like get yourself right with the Lord and your foundation and him but if you’re truly trying or like if there is a 10 that you’re like I just don’t feel pretty today I feel bloated or something and he’s just like oh you’re always so insecure like what do you want from me like a hiss cue you know obvious one is making you feel like you have to prove yourself if he ever makes you feel like you have to prove yourself to be with him like that you’re on like a three-strikes-you’re-out system or like work your way up no that is not what’s aiding or a ship is about it is about caring about the other person and serving that other person as Jesus would and if it turns out that it’s not gonna work out you know that’s one thing but you’re not just trying to find everything wrong with them to use against them x1 is immediately trying to get physical like kissing or anything like that I personally again you could be different I personally if somebody is immediately trying to get physical with me take it as a red flag because I’m like you don’t even really know me yet so why do you want to know my body so badly so quickly and this one again personal but this is the number two thing if you’re gonna listen to anything I have to say please hear me if he has any kind of issue or addiction to pornography I’m out I might sound really insensitive to you guys I’m sorry if it does this is my own personal thing I know that there are a lot of people and you know men also that have recovered from things like this and God has been really great works in their life I’m not saying you never date somebody who has struggled with this but I personally couldn’t I couldn’t marry somebody who in a porn addiction because I have not personally dealt with it but in my family that has been an issue won’t get into that I’ve seen how it wrecks lives wrecks lives again God can work anything out for me personally that was not something I was willing to do I I couldn’t handle it couldn’t handle it and if that is something you’re struggling with there is hope there is love God is for you you know even though that’s not something I personally struggle with I have other struggles so don’t feel like you’re alone and don’t feel like you’re unlovable I want to be really careful when I say that you’re not unlovable at all that’s just something that I am not equipped to handle but you know there are other things I am equipped to handle some women wouldn’t be equipped to handle a guy with insecurities or a guy with this or whatever then I feel like I am equipped to handle better this is something that God I don’t feel like has given me the gift to handle something like that but maybe he has given you the gift as a woman to walk through that with another man or something however if he’s actively addicted to it now I would urge you to talk to a counselor or a pastor to see if that really is the right you want to take or if you want a baby put on hold for a while dating them before they get to a place of victory over that addiction first take that with a grain of salt but that’s the best thing that I have found for myself next one this is if you’re in a relationship not when you just first start dating if he spends more time with his friends than you yeah maybe I’m just clingy and your first dating obviously it it makes sense you haven’t really gotten to know each other yet but I just feel like you know the person here you’re in a relationship with the person you might marry should be a priority over your friends I’m not saying don’t see them ever but not even as much as your person your significant other me personally that’s my opinion another one if he remarks on how other women look in any way it bothers me a lot again ky doesn’t do this very thankful but if he were to be like oh my gosh look at her thighs they’re so big or something red-flag he were to be like oh my gosh look at her she’s so fat like that’s gross red flag or on the contra if you were to be like wow that girl’s really pretty red flag because all of those lead to insecurities in my mind of I need to make sure my legs don’t get too big I need to make sure I don’t ever gain weight I need to make sure that I look like that girl right there that’s not how it is I’m not saying that they can never think another girl’s pretty I mean I would love if that weren’t the case but it’s just not realistic they should not be singing to you honestly they shouldn’t be saying it out loud next one if he tries to tell you what to eat or what not to eat in a forceful way or takes food away from you and since you shouldn’t be eating that or that’s not for you or something like a two-year-old red flag now there’s one exception to this this red flag miss in my mind for me if you guys have fitness goals you’re trying to reach together if you have fitness goals like he’s trying to help you reach that’s a little different if he’s trying to help you but if it’s something we’re like none of that’s been discussed you did not give him like permission annoy to do that and he’s just like no no no the breads not for you mmm this is another very person who went to me maybe doesn’t bother you bothers me if he has a lot of girlfriends red flag to me again some girls that doesn’t bother them at all I am a jealous being I wouldn’t say I’m super super jealous I guess I need to be careful when I say that but like ah it just doesn’t it doesn’t sit well with me if another girl knows as much or even close to as much about my guy as I do unless that girl is his sister or a cousin or related in some kind of way if he just has a lot of girlfriends especially if she’s like best friend is a girl and not related to him for me personally that’s a red flag might not bother you just bothers me along with friends the next one for me is if he’s surrounded by friends that are a bad influence you know there’s there’s a saying is that you kind of turn into the five people you must surround yourself with I believe that wholeheartedly and if you’re constantly surrounded by bad influences then you’re you’re most likely going to take their attributes also with that there’s a there’s a level of accountability that isn’t there if they don’t have the same morals and values that you do if they’re not in the world the way you will are and stuff like that and I believe accountability and community is a really good thing am i saying you should not have friends that are different from you absolutely not am i saying that you should have friends that are only Christian if you’re a Christian no I think that you should have friends with anybody who wants to be your friend but there’s different like circles of friends if your inner circle is bad influence kind of a red flag to me another one that’s personal to me is if he has any kind of addiction to drugs that’s a hard no for me I don’t I’m probably still going to get hate for this I feel like I can sing nothing and still get hate but like I’m just I’m not connected somebody with the drug addiction it’s not gonna happen and that was always I was always a big red flag to me um okay again the next one is a very personal to me and you might not give a crap of that but to me it’s that if they didn’t have the same political views as me the reason that’s important to me is because I majored in politics and policy in college so it’s like a big part of my life I know you probably wouldn’t expect that looking at me because I’m all like you know I opened this video kind of saying hey cool cats and kittens and like I don’t know someone into politics wouldn’t do that but I did major in politics and policy worked in DC for a short time I thought that was gonna be the path God led me down turns out it isn’t and that’s okay but all that being said um politics are important to me if they’re not in toward to you then you do you boo boo but I knew it was going to be a strain in our relationship if they didn’t hold the same political views of me again another very personal one don’t be offended especially any of you gamers out there I still love you but if he was always playing video games cuz I was with a few guys who were always playing video games when I say with I mean like dated but like that we’re always playing video games and it was I just I’m not into that world and maybe it’s something that you and your guys bond with maybe you loved video games stuff and I know some couples like that and that’s great for you seriously like seriously that’s great for you that’s a red flag for all anything it was just for me because I knew I wouldn’t enjoy it if he was always playing and I wanted to like go outside or I wanted to do something or whatever and he was like yeah yeah let me finish this game I don’t know I knew I would always be like kind of resentful so I know it probably wouldn’t work if he was super super into video games however I will say toontown was my jam but that’s like an Internet game but that was my jam when I was growing up this one I don’t even know if this needs like a title of what it is I think it just it’s a story one time I dated a guy who told me that he was complaining that we prayed together too much yep he also claimed to be a Christian and like literally served at the church and he claims that our prayers once a day together we’re too much kind of a red flag next one I think a bunch of you can relate to this one being a flirtatious with any girl while he’s dating you but especially your friends uh just a little hits me some sorta way I haven’t had a lot of experience with that happening to me but I have seen it happen to other friends of mine it literally actually like makes me want to punch a wall okay this one again might not bother you definitely bothers me if they’re still in touch with their ex or exes or whatever that’s a red flag for me I know some I have some friends who they’re still friends slash friendly slash in touch with their exes and it doesn’t affect their relationship I think it would affect mine personally and thankfully KY feels the exact same way I’m I’m not friends with any of my exes anyway and neither is he so it works out but for me it just it wouldn’t work well but maybe he does for you this one I have to explain a little bit but it doesn’t know how to argue fairly what I mean by that is you’re gonna argue as a couple whether you’re dating in a relationship married whatever you’re gonna argue it’s just gonna happen you’re gonna have disagreements but if they don’t know how to do it correctly and fairly and are not learning how to then that’s kind of a bad sign to me because it’s like there’s a way to argue with somebody and to get your point across and even be frustrated without tearing them down or like ripping apart who they are as a person so if they’re playing unfairly if they’re trying to be manipulative if they’re you know saying well fine I just won’t ever speak to you again then this that’ll make you happy like not fair or if they just storm out not fair if they are bringing up past hurts whenever they want to out of their back pocket after they said they’ve forgiven you not fair fighting so if that’s a thing that keeps reoccurring and they’re not willing to just argue like an adult it was a red flag for me only two more this one again personal to me I know I’ve said that like a million times but I can’t say enough this might not bother you for me if they loved gambling that was a big red flag for me only because I have had past hurt in my family won’t get into it where I’ve seen it destroy lives and it’s just something I can’t handle personally maybe you can maybe it’s not a big deal to you maybe you guys bond over that I don’t know how that works but that was something that I knew I was never gonna be able to heal enough from to be actively okay with that the last one which is kind of a happy note to kind of a sad note I like to focus on how they treat animals you’re gonna be like what no but like even if they don’t aren’t so like lovey dovey with animals I know some people are like that that’s fine but like if they hate animals or if they’re like mean to animals or abusive or something or hit their animal that like pushes me over the edge not only because it’s a living creature that God created and you should he told us to steward it well and to treat them well but also because you know sometimes that can be a reflection of how they will also treat their children one day that’s if they’re up that’s not thing if they just aren’t a fan of animals but if they’re abusive towards animals that can play into that and also I’m just such an animal lover and I just I love dogs – literally right back here right now and even if they weren’t obsessed or something if they hate dogs and I could never have a dog I’m not saying it it would have never worked but just for that reason thankfully cause out like that we both want a dog one day but I’m just saying like you know it’s important to me I love the animals and I just feel like it’d be something that wouldn’t ruin a relationship but it would be kind of like a something in my head to think about hope you guys enjoyed this video is kind of long hope you liked it take what you want from it leave what you want from it don’t really care just thought it’d be a fun one to get out there and kind of talk to you guys about so I love you so so much and I’ll see you soon bye guys [Music] [Music]