3 I’s to Avoid in your Christian Dating Relationship

hey beautiful digits Erica off swinging here after rock true be calm so for today’s video we’re talking about the three eyes that she want to stay away from when you were in a Christian dating relationship so if you want to know to keep watching this video [Music] all right so the first I were gonna be discussing that you do not want to have in your Christian daily relationship is isolation isolation is so destructive in a relationship especially when you’re starting off Christian dating I’m talking about isolation in two different ways isolation from each other but also isolation from others it’s very easy and very tempting when you start a new relationship to be all about this person and you kind of spend your time with them you’re always engaged with them you’re always in activities with them but it’s important that you engage yourself with other people and other Christian couples because a lot of times other people can see things that you can always see people may have different perceptions and ideas and even counsel it’s important that you have those wise counsel it’s important for accountability purposes there’s so many reasons why it’s important and it’s healthy even that you maintain relationships outside of your own primary relationship with each other sometimes it’s on the other extreme and it’s not talking about much but it’s a reality and Christian dating relationships too sometimes you know because it’s like Christ centered and it’s about God you meant maybe you met in church or something where it’s cushion base maybe you feel like oh I don’t know what it’s do maybe I shouldn’t be here and then maybe I’m too close to them let me stay separate from them and you can even isolate each other and that is not healthy as well it’s important to maintain boundaries yes very important but it’s also important to maintain that connection and he only could build that when you’re with each other when you’re near each other how are you able to know how well you work together if you’re good not gonna if you’re never gonna be with each other right so the second eye is ignoring each other yes so ignoring now this is very easy unfortunately to do and tempting in every relationship right if someone does something to hurt you or affect you or say something it’s very easy to just kind of ignore this person because you kind of feel by you ignoring you’re really saying a lot but in reality that’s exactly what you’re doing you don’t always need to have a verbal reaction or a verbal attack to be destructive in a relationship sometimes your nonverbals can be just as destructive you know God’s Word says to strive to keep the peace at all times if there’s something that happened a situation that came up and maybe it caused some kind of tension or contention it’s important not to ignore and go away but oxygen to the opposites who engage to express to communicate and say hey this happened this is what I saw this is what I notice or you said this or this really bothered me I felt this way about it and then you guys can come back on the same page and come on to terms with it how will anyone know how anyone be able to read your mind and expect to meet these unexpressed expectations that you haven’t laid out that you haven’t made clear you know it’s very easy sometimes as girls we think oh I’m just gonna ignore him and then by ignoring him he’s gonna see how upset and hurt I am and then afterwards gonna come to me and chase me and get on his knees and beg me for forgiveness and that doesn’t happen and then we get even more mad it’s like Hello you haven’t even expressed to him anything you expect him to meet all these expectations of what to do and instead of ignoring when you actually come and you engage and you talk to you know your partner about it and you tell them hey this is what happened this is what affected me most of the time you’re gonna find out that it was a misunderstanding maybe you thought one thing and he thought another and you guys probably had a whole different perspective and idea about it and that and the only way you’re gonna know that is by coming together and discussing it because when you ignore what happens is why you’re ignoring and that time is going by you’re sowing seeds of contention you’re sowing seeds of bitterness of resentment of anger you’re actually sewing those seeds are dropping in as you allow and prolong this ignoring it doesn’t create peace at all it doesn’t make you feel better right it makes you feel worse it makes you feel more more angry so it’s important to not ignore it but instead to do the opposite and even if you don’t feel like it to push yourself you don’t have to have the feeling of wanting to talk to that person right now but just doing it anyways and getting it out on the other side of it I promise that you’re gonna feel so much better alright and the very last I that you do not want to bring into your cushion dating relationship is intruding now this is something that is also kind of like the first one it’s very hard and tempting not to do this but it’s important that you don’t and what I intruding what I mean by is always being in that other person’s space now it’s important to like I said be connected to be engaged to have conversations to let each other know that you’re there for each other you guys for this back you care and to always come and connect it’s a time of exploring and getting to know one another but also getting to know yourself it’s important to have time apart to be able to pray to think to examine to set other goals and other things like that they even take a step back and realize what God is even doing in your relationship and it’s very important that you remember the relationship is not about you glorifying each other it’s not about that it’s about glorifying God where’s room for God right it’s like you’re like this all the time how I’ve got where can you fit where is he you need to make sure you have some kind of a margin there that you have room for the Lord to be in there in the midst of it that there’s a room for God to work at you there’s room for got to work in him to have a godly relationship you need to have a godly interpersonal relationship individually first you can’t have a godly relationship when you two don’t have that going on with individually so as you guys have your personal relationship with the Lord being worked on and growing in together you bring that God third person into it and God continues to grow it and expand it okay so to recap the three eyes that you do not want to bring into your Christian dating relationship is isolation ignoring and intruding sometimes we’re gonna mess up and fall short in one of these areas it happens but just maintaining the idea of striving against it and just continuously making those efforts thank you guys so much for watching this video I hope it was helpful for you and I’ll see you at next time [Music]