As Christians, we know that love is and should be unconditional. Lust, however, is not. Lust is steeped in gratification without concern to anything else. Lust has blurred boundaries as to what’s right; love kicks those blurred lines into place.

The difference between lust and love is as clear as light and darkness, yet many singles finds it difficult to navigate. In the early stage of a relationship, when the sex hormones are raging, lust is fuelled by idealization and projection–you see what you hope someone will be or need them to be–rather than seeing the real person, flaws and all. 

 Although Christianity is based on the ideals and ideas of love, as demonstrated by God through Jesus Christ  However,the love we are dealing with here as  “Christian love”in a relationship is not a warm fuzzy feeling. God is very clear in his Word that Eros love is reserved for marriage. It is a projection of the true love that comes from the father.  The Apostle Paul noted that it is wise for people to marry to fulfill their godly desire for this type of love:

Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. (1 Corinthians 7:8-9, NIV)  Thus we declare that within the boundary of marriage, eros love is to be celebrated.

Lust on the other hand is a temptation. It is an evil  born of Satan and the flesh that overcomes many of us.  Every single one of us is subject to lust. If we are to overcome it, we must be strong. We must resist the Devil by agreeing with the Psalmist in  Psalm 103 verse 3 (NIV) ” I will not look with approval on anything that is vile. I hate what faithless people do; I will have no part in it”. Jesus dealt with the issue of lust even more forcefully when he said in Matthew 5 verse 28 (NIV) ” But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

 

Here are 10 signs you should know to determine whether that relationship is based on love or lust.

SIGNS OF LUST

  • You’re totally focused on a person’s looks and body, but not the spiritual stability
  • You’re interested in having sex, but not in having godly conversations.
  • You’d rather keep the relationship on a fantasy level, not discuss real feelings.
  • You have no intimacy not even cuddling without thinking about sex..
  • You are lovers, but not friends.

SIGNS OF LOVE

  • You want to spend quality time together other than sex.
  • You get lost in conversations and forget about the hours passing.
  • You want to honestly listen to each other’s feelings, make each other happy.
  • He or she motivates you to be a better person.
  • You want to get to meet his or her family and friends.

It is not easy in the midst of hormones surging to make healthy relationship decisions. The challenge of sexual attraction is learning to stay Christ centered and let the Holy Spirit guide you, especially during the early stages of your dating

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