WHY YOU NEED BOUNDARIES || Christian Relationship Advice for Dating & Singles

a lot of times when we get into dating or even when we’re single and have friends of the opposite sex without realizing it we can sometimes get ourselves into situations we never really intended to be in so today we’re gonna be breaking down everything that you need to know about having boundaries so you can keep your mind and heart right rather than please into God so steak [Music] what’s up everybody this is Ronnie now and on this channel we give you weekly tools and inspiration to help me find God and walk with Him in your daily life so that’s something you need consider subscribing and don’t forget to hit the notification bell so you never miss an episode so we are in our relationship series and I feel like this is a moment that many of you have been waiting for we are finally talking about boundaries maybe you’re a single Christian or maybe you’re married but I’m sure that you know single people and we think you guys are really gonna learn a lot from this video if you haven’t watched our how we met video Mel gave me some really intense rules both when we were friends and why we were dating but they are so helpful to keep us pure into our marriage that we didn’t even kiss into our wedding day yeah they were pretty intense but honestly it’s not all just about some list of rules that you’re supposed to follow it really is about a heart posture and a desire to love and please God in every area of our lives so let’s jump in and see what the scripture has to say about it because there’s so much concern of this topic Mel and I are gonna break this up into two videos first we’re gonna establish what the Bible says about boundaries and explain why they’re so important in your life then in the next video we’re actually gonna help you think through the areas of life that you should establish some boundaries and give you some examples from what we did so first what our boundaries exactly well in this particular area boundaries are voluntary restraints that we put in our life that help keep us from temptation that leads to sin with the opposite sex and the most obvious boundaries that people think of are physical boundaries like don’t have sex before marriage which is a great place to start but honestly temptation starts way before that so we need to put those safeguards in our life to keep us from even getting there an example this would be like if you were an alcoholic boundary shouldn’t be like I won’t drink alcohol it’s just start at I don’t even go near a bar I don’t go to parties where there’s alcohol and if I’m going to go out I need to tell people beforehand that I don’t drink etc you see these things keep us from getting to the place of temptation and we need them in our relationships as well because the Bible says this you have heard that it was said you shall not commit adultery but I tell you that anyone who even looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart so if your right hand causes you to stumble cut it off and throw it away it’s better for you to lose one part of your body then your whole body to go into hell so if anything would lead you to have simple thoughts or to tempt you in such a way you need to cut it out your life and put a boundary around it to keep you out of that temptation but most of the time I actually see people doing the very opposite most people are asking the question how far can I go before it’s actually sin like where is that line that it’s sin and how close to that line can I actually get when really that is the completely wrong question to be asking instead Ronnie and I want to ask God how holy can we stay how pure and righteous can we live in our dating life in a way that pleases you and that is the heart we want to have when it comes to establishing boundaries in our life and in our relationships proverbs 4:23 also says above all else guard your heart for everything that you do flows from it so the Bible is clear sin and temptation doesn’t start with sinful actions or behavior it begins in the heart so your behavior or your action flows from the purity or the impurity of your heart so boundaries need to begin at the heart level and here’s where I see Christians getting in trouble all the time and religious people in general there is this quote flying around that may actually sound biblical but it really couldn’t be further from the truth you hear it all over the place just follow your heart actually no that’s really the last thing we want to do because Jeremiah 1719 says the heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure who can understand it so if we just follow our heart or we follow our emotions or do what we feel like we’re going to get into big trouble we need to learn how to kill the desires of our flesh and follow God in his word and not our feelings and another thing that makes all of us even more complicated when you are physically involved with someone outside of the bounds of marriage your heart actually gets connected to that person and I can attest to this before I knew Jesus I fell in love with this guy and I gave him everything and even though he was into drugs and abusive I quote-unquote loved him and it’s all because we had been physical and therefore my heart was completely attached to him and those are the things that we need to guard against in our life because when you do that it makes it a lot harder to make decisions based on wisdom or based on what God says again you make them based on your feelings and marriage needs to be a sober decision the Bible also says do not stir up or awaken love until it pleases so until we get married to someone we really want to guard our hearts and make sure we don’t awaken love or give our hearts away to someone before the time is right because if you’re a Christian the Bible actually says that you are not your own you were bought at a price and because Jesus died for you you and your body actually belongs to him it doesn’t belong to you to make your own decisions and it doesn’t belong to someone else until you’re married even if you’re dating or engaged so therefore honor God with your bodies that’s why we didn’t even want to kiss until our wedding day because we did belong to one another yet she belong to Jesus I belong to Jesus and we also know especially for us who did it live holy before knowing Jesus that kissing them can easily lead to more so we put a boundary around that because we wanted to honor each other and we wanted to honor the Lord and stay pure until that day and at the end of the day this is what boundaries are all about it’s about giving up the temporary pleasures or the instant gratification of sin and temptation for the eternal pleasures in God that lasts forever and we don’t want you to think that it’s just about keeping a bunch of rules and checking off the box or that it’s legalistic that you have to do all these things perfect so that God still loves you because it’s not it’s about walking with Jesus and wanting to love him by living pleasing to him in every area because John 14:15 says if you love me you will obey me so the more that we love him the more we will gladly want to obey Him and psalm 119 therefore I love your Commandments more than gold God’s commandments and his boundary lines in our life are not a burden they are actually a blessing so we can live in such a way that agrees with His commandments because we know he always knows what’s best and we can rest assured knowing that he really does honor and reward our decisions for righteousness yet also remembering that there really are consequences to our wrong decisions but if you’ve had ungodly past lives like Ronnie or I or even if you failed in this area before God’s grace is enough to cover you to make you completely new and to strengthen you to walk this out rightly if we can do it anyone can next week we’re actually going to break down all the different areas in your life that you need to establish some boundaries and share with you the ones that we actually have when we were friends and when we were dating so you can have a better idea of which ones are better for you so hopefully that gives you a better understanding of why you need boundaries in your single life so if you enjoyed this video make sure to give it a thumbs up and if you think it might be helpful for someone you know make sure to share it and we want to hear from you guys so be sure to comment below have you ever thought about putting some boundaries in your life and what was the one thing that stuck out to you in this video let us know down below so we hope this continues to help you in your journey to find God and walk with Him and we will see you next time