How to Honor God in Relationships ❤️ | Christian Dating Advice

Hey girls! Tiffany Dawn here with my hubby James for Tuesday Girl Talk. And we’re going to talk about how to honor God in a dating relationship. Mhm, which we had once about a time before we were married. And we still date. That’s true. We’re just married too. So number one: Have other people involved in your relationship. Probably the easiest dating relationship to have is an unhealthy dating relationship. Yeah. When you find that person you’re like super attracted to, it’s so natural to want your world to revolve around them, to be like, “Oh yeah I have all these cool friends but like I’d rather hang out with this person,” cause I get this high off of it, it’s so fun… or like, “Yeah I know I want to like save sex for marriage but like I don’t know I just really love making out” — “this person is really special” — yeah and it’s just so easy to want to kind of take this slippery slope down. Yeah and the easiest way to do that is when you’re just spending a lot of time with this person. Just the two of you – just the two of you — because in the moment it all seems like really cool because you’re getting along, and you have this — it feels so good and right — yeah yeah even when you’re like kind of mad at one another like you still like you’re still together. You’re on this emotional high, like nothing really seems that bad — exactly and that’s where the danger comes in, because if you’re just hanging out just the two of you and you don’t have anybody else speaking into your relationship, you don’t actually know if it’s healthy or if it just seems that way. It’s like getting dressed in the dark without a mirror. Oh yeah I’ve picked out the wrong clothes in the dark before. Yeah, once you get into the light you realize how things really are. And that’s the way it is with dating relationships, is you need to have them out in the light. Like the book of 1st John in the first chapter talks a lot about how God is light, and the opposite of God is darkness. If you think about having your relationships in the light, in a place where people can see them, a place where your relationship is transparent, where other people know what’s going on. In the first relationship I was in that I’ve told you girls about that was really really bad, I had adults tell me I shouldn’t be with this guy, and I didn’t listen and now I realize that they would have saved me like a year and a half of heartbreak if I’d listened. Yeah it’s super helpful to have people who are a little farther along in life that you — that you can just ask about stuff. So like your parents, other people who are older and wiser who you trust, who you can like get together with. And like to have friends in your relationship too. Like we all know those people who you’re like, “Well I was friends with her but now like I haven’t seen her in months” — she has a boyfriend… Don’t be that girl. Like that is the most dangerous place you could be. And girls like if you’re in a relationship and it’s really bad and you’re like, “But I have to marry him because we’ve done thus and such together,” or because he’s the first guy you dated, you do not have to marry him! Get out! Like if it’ a really bad relationships, leave him! Get out! Yeah — like that’s fine — and whenever you’re in a relationship, you’re the last person to know it’s a bad relationship. That’s true; everyone else has seen the whole time probably. The very last one — the last one. So that’s why you got to have other people involved who are watching. When they say love is blind — it’s literally blind — you have no idea. That was one of the reasons we felt so comfortable getting married, was because both of our families and our friends were like on board, they’re like “This is great; we don’t see red flags,” and that was what made us feel like, “Okay, we’re not just missing the red flags,” you know? Because both of us had been in relationships before when pretty much everyone else knew it was not good — except for us — We thought it was great, it was happy! And I’m so glad I’m not with those guys. Yeah so number two is having a balanced life. Like you really want to make sure that your world is well-rounded. It’s so easy to just go from guy to guy and like just date different people, especially when you’re like in high school and in college, and I know a lot of my friends have said, “I regret doing that because I wish that I put more time into friendships because the guys didn’t last but my friends would have,” you know? And so like it’s really important to like not just give up everything you’re doing but be involved. Mhm. What was number three? Oh you don’t want to give up stuff — or, don’t don’t try to — don’t go and — oh yeah, don’t change who you are. Another thing I’ve heard from a lot of people is that, “Well I’m in a relationship so I have to compromise; like it’s not all about me anymore.” And well that is kind of true, especially in marriage — when you’re dating you’re not married to the person. Like you do not have to stay with them forever; you are not meant to start becoming one with them. And like changing who you are to be with this person, like that’s not healthy. I know a lot of people think they’re supposed to do that honor God. No don’t do that! Like dating is about discovering who you are and who the other person is — as you are — and if you work well together. And I think compromise in dating — like there’s always compromise in relationships, but I think it’s more like, “Oh, you really enjoy basketball so I’m going to learn about basketball and I’ll play it with you sometimes because you love it.” It would not be him saying, “Oh well I love basketball but you don’t so I’m never going to play basketball again.” That’s not compromise; that’s changing who you are and what you enjoy and not having a well-rounded life. And in the long run it will make one of the people — the person who’s giving up something — miserable which will in turn make the relationship miserable. You want to be you as much as you can when you date people, realizing that a lot of people that you date, you aren’t going to jive with, but then when you meet someone down the road that you’re like, “WOW! You know, we’re not the same person, but we jive so well, and it’s ok that when I do my thing and when the other person does their thing,” then you know how this is really special. Yeah because i am not sure how to explain this but I think a lot of times we think about marriage is like were both changing until — like cloning each other. Yeah. That’s not what marriage is about. Like I really believe that marriage is about both of us helping the other person become everything God intended them to be. Yes. And it’s not like I’m becoming more like James; it’s like I’m helping James become everything God made him to be. And especially in dating it is not about giving up your interests and what you love and who you are. Don’t do that. So number four: Just kind of like look at what the Bible says as a whole. There’s nothing in the Bible that specifically talks about dating, so it’s really thinking like, “What are the principles already in God’s word, how am I supposed to live my life and just apply that to a relationship?” Those are the sorts of principles that Jesus taught: Be honest, treat people fairly, show love to one another, forgive — those are the kind of things that we’re called to do in all of our relationships. And bonus tip: If you’re thinking SEX… I think “how do we honor God in our relationships” and what I’m hearing in my mind is “I have a deep sexual attraction towards this person and I’m not really sure what to do with it cause i’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to have sex until you’re married,” which is really good question — and Tiffany has done a really good video on this. It’s called “How far is too far in dating relationships?” Which is a tough question. I’ll link it at the end. So if that’s what you mean by this question “how to honor God,” if it’s about sex and stuff, then check out that video. Yeah so thanks so much to James for doing this with me! Cause he’s amazing. And also comment below as always because I love hearing from you. Isn’t true — like I like get so excited reading the comments. Yeah, that’s true. I’m always like, “Guess what this girl wrote!” As we’re in bed. Tiffany likes to talk her way to sleep, which is unfortunate because when we go to bed I like to actually sleep — I know, crazy, right? I lay down in bed and I try to go to sleep! Tiffany’s like, “Oh yeah!” — Talking’s like a lullaby — “Let me tell you about this, let me tell you who wrote me, it’s so great!” Goes on for like 30 minutes! It’s my favorite time of the day! Anyway, so, (I don’t know that it’s my favorite) — but yeah I love when you girls comment, so leave comments on other things that help you honor God in your dating relationships, and I’ll see you next week with a couple other blogger friends of mine who are going to do a little video together on things that you should know about boys. So that should be really fun. Cool, well, thank you girls for watching, and I hope you have an amazing day! Bye! It’s so strange like wave my hands and see this ring on it — like whoa I’m married — yeah and I’m wearing a fat wood ring. Oh yeah it’s not your regular one. We got him five rings. — I lose them. — He’s lost some of them, that’s why. I know, don’t judge me. But Tiffany still on her first ring. She has not lost hers. It’s so pretty; how could I lose it? …if it will focus… there we go! Ooo…