How to Avoid Crossing Emotional Boundaries Before Marriage (4 Christian Relationship Tips)

in this video we’re gonna talk about four ways that you can avoid committing emotional promiscuity before marriage hey everybody I’m Marc from apply God’s Word calm a place where we apply the Bible to your life I have a whole nother video on Christian boundaries in Christian dating so I’ll leave a link to that in the description below most of the time when people think about boundaries in Christian dating they think immediately about physical boundaries and not having premarital sex and things like that what I think is often overlooked is the emotional boundaries that should also be in place before marriage because marriage is more than sex if you just think about marriage as every other relationship except their sex in the relationship you’re going to be you know causing a lot of problems with yourself before marriage because you’re going to get involved in things that should be reserved for the marriage bond so to start I think it’s worth just defining what I actually mean by this phrase emotional promiscuity just like sexual promiscuity it’s like when you go too far when you do something that hurts yourself sexually you’ve crossed the line and you’ve committed the sin essentially emotional promiscuity is the same thing except it has to do obviously with your emotions and your commitment and your conversations and things like that so whenever you say or you know feel something in your heart toward somebody that leaves you wounded and broken afterwards that’s a sign that emotional promiscuity occurred so how can you guard your heart against emotional promiscuity pointone you have to first realize that there is such a thing as emotional promiscuity in other words you have to value and respect the power that emotions play in our lives so as I mentioned earlier a lot of times when we think about boundaries in Christian dating we just immediately think about sex and don’t sex and don’t do this physically and don’t do that and that’s all really good and we’ll be good boundaries for us but a lot of times those people who have put really strict physical boundaries in their relationship are often the most susceptible to an emotional promiscuity and going too far emotionally because they really want to connect with one another and since they can’t do that physically they end up going really far emotionally and talking about things that maybe they shouldn’t talk about and sharing desires that you know is just too soon to talk about in the relationship so the first thing again that you need to do is to realize how powerful emotions are how powerful conversations are and realizing that there is a line that you can cross even if it has nothing to do with physical intimacy number two speed kills so a lot of times when emotional promiscuity happens in a relationship it’s usually paired with an impatience in relationships people who cross the line emotionally are usually moving really really fast in their dating experience with this other person so remember when my dad was teaching me how to drive a car and one of the first things he told me was speed kills and that always stuck with me when I’m driving he says speed kills and he made sure I knew where the brake was before he taught me how to use the accelerator and that same thing is true in relationships speed kills he made sure when I was learning how to drive that I knew with most accidents and crashes and bad things that happen on the road when you’re driving a car are usually directly related with going too fast and when the faster you go in a vehicle the harder it is to control that vehicle and again the same thing is true in Christian relationships and just relationships in general the faster you go the harder it is to control what’s happening the more likely it is for a mistake to occur if you’ve ever talked to somebody who has maybe been in a car in it one of the most common phrases is it all happened so fast I don’t know what happened and that same thing is true in relationships that go bad it all happened so fast I don’t know what happened well you’re going too fast emotionally and you’re you’re just like don’t have any patience that’s when a lot of lines are crossed that shouldn’t be crossed until marriage so one great way to protect your heart while dating is to work on patience make sure that you’re taking the time to set a healthy foundation for the relationship that you are in or will begin one day point three is that sometimes emotional promiscuity is easier to occur over the internet we live in a day and age where communication is really linked to technology and that’s not going away and I’m not anti anti technology technology is not the problem but the way that we use technology can be a problem so emotional promiscuity is really easy to occur over internet-based mediums whether it be whatever social media platform you enjoy the most there’s so many out there or live chats whatever all of that I mean by the time you watch this video maybe it’s archived for a few years they’ll probably be some other new app or platform that people are using the whole point here is that when you’re not in person and you’re not talking face-to-face there is a temptation to say things and maybe promises that you would make that you would never say when you’re in person people feel like there’s like less consequences when they say things over the Internet that’s why people are so ridiculous in the comments section when you know you post a YouTube video or you post something on social media people are just like so rude and it’s because they’re they’re behind the safety of their computer or their smartphone they would never say that to you to your face the same thing can be true on the other side of saying things really good so to speak are to to too much emotion they would never say those thing face the face but behind the safety of their smartphone or their computer they feel free to say things more than they would normally say one person might be really genuine talking about the future talking about love talking about all the stuff they want to do in this relationship and the other person just might be on the other and laying in bed playing games and just wants an emotional thrill that night another reason this type of communication is dangerous and can be hard to navigate is because it could be so constant a lot of times we end up feeling closer to somebody when we’re in a conversation with them 24/7 all the time on our smart phone or texting we’re commenting we’re sending videos back and forth like it’s a constant communication you can have this constant flow of information back and forth between this person that you’re talking to and a lot of times you end up feeling closer than you actually are to that person because of the quantity of your conversations rather than the quality of your commitment so let me say that again a lot of times if you feel close to somebody because of the quantity of your communication rather than the quality of your commitment that’s when you can end up crossing emotional boundaries that could hurt you in the future and number four if you want to protect your heart and avoid emotional promiscuity you want to look at what type of friends this person that you’re speaking to hangs around so I have a whole nother video on five signs of a Christian player and there’s our gender neutral could be a Christian player who’s a man or a woman but there are out there and the church is full of people who are just playing emotional games one way to recognize a Christian player Christian player is that the people that hang around you know you might think that all his friends are just that way but he’s not that way or all her friends are just really shallow but she’s not shallow and it’s possible but more than likely that person is just like their friends because you end up hanging around people that are like that’s just a natural trait of humans we end up gravitating towards people who are very similar to us and a player is careful to guard their character flaws and their you know emotional games because that’s what they are they’re a player they know how to play the game however their friends aren’t going to be as guarded around you because they don’t really care and they’re not trying to get with you like that person is so if you like this person and they’re hanging around people with low caliber and low character you need to be careful even if you don’t see those traits yet in the person that you like because again they usually end up being like the people they hang around well I’m mark from apply God’s Word Calm hope you enjoyed this video if you did give it a thumbs up maybe even share it with your friends thanks for watching and God bless you