Episode 1| What is A Godly Relationship? Christian vs Worldly

hey guys hey guys so last week somebody slid into my facebook messages and basically said what is a Christian relationship so I thought why not get a manual on to the channel for us to have a quick chat about what a Christian relationship is and how does it look different so and my name’s gonna start us off and basically give us some tips and you know understanding right for me a major difference between godly relationships and worldly relationships is accountability and like first and foremost your relationship your relationship is accountable to God so God has to you know be sovereign over it his rulership has to be upon it and he has to be center of it as well which means that you know your relationship is not just you doing whatever you want you know it’s about God it’s about God’s glory it’s about God’s purposes so in a worldly relationship we see someone you like you like them you know you like their personality and when you feel like you know what let’s get together and what not but a godly relationship is very much about how can we come together how can purpose meet with purpose you know to achieve God’s purpose and how are we compatible in accomplishing the purposes that you know God has for our lives and obviously we still love each other’s personalities obviously we’re still attracted to each other whatnot but it’s about God that’s the main kind of difference for me it’s about God yeah and also I just like to add on to that one of the most beautiful relationships you can read about in the Bible is through songs of Solomon so I kind of looked through that before I made this video and for me something that really was when they are having exchange and they say my beloved is mine and I am his and I really do believe that a Christian relationship is something that is also exclusive because some people who are watching this you know you may be I don’t know accustomed to being a relationship where it’s you two and maybe somebody else for example who you go out on dates with or like you’re constantly going out of this person and this person and this person and this person and this person but with a Christian relationship it would honestly be a person who you have seen is perhaps someone God has highlighted to you and you and that person are actually exclusive you know it’s a thing where there’s no third parties in that relationship of course there’s also no worldliness of like cheating and these types of things and this needs to be talked about I mentioned and that makes a Christian relationship very different you know God is at the center and I believe that God made relationships and for obviously two people to be in and so I think that’s very important especially because of some marriages and some certain you know marriages that invite third parties into their relationship sometimes you know and I even remember when I was in the world my dream was you know threesomes all these types of things like fall exciting but actually know like we need to understand that a Christian relationship is not for third parties it’s not even for it’s not for even how do I explain it a third party with your eye like in the same way in which you know your eyes are fixed or God I believe God wanted to reflect that through relationships also and God didn’t desire for you to contribute looking here be looking there checking out that person but oh I’m a man I’m a man man men can you know they look at women sometimes you know these types of things or you know kind of your whereas your hot so understanding that your heart of that person is also it’s between is for you to it’s rather than you know a third person with your with your eyes or a third person who’s actually in the physical and existing as part of that relationship also for me there’s a stand to a godly relationships when it comes to worldly relationships there’s no kind of standard to imitate or there’s no kind of standard of a relationship to embody but when you’re in a godly relationship you have the standard of Christ in a church and even beyond that you have the standard of the father and the son it’s something that God has kind of taught me kind of deciphered me about about how he wants relationships to mirror you know godly relationships relationships in the kingdom of God to mirror the relationship between the father and the son and basically breaking this down is the father you know Express his authoritative head over the Son and the son is the submissive helper and together through their oneness for the their covenant their intimacy they call a bird’s you know to achieve God’s purpose on earth so I see that standard and I want to kind of embody that standard the standard of all I have is yours or that you have his mind so given ourselves to one another service you know love you know culture of just holiness and things of that nature so it’s like there’s a standard you know and the purpose of your relationship is to embody that standard and to display that standard of relationship through your relationship so again it goes back to accountability because it’s not you doing whatever you want it’s really about God is so that God’s glory can be you know expressed through the person and free you and the person that you’re we’re free to feel your relationship yeah definitely and as you were speaking to more things came to me which is submission and also purity so today we’re living in a society where purity is Wow like out of the window worldly relationships are they people are having sex all the time and it’s something that’s become society’s normal but I believe that there’s a holiness share between in a Christian relationship and that is the fact that it should be set apart and I believe that until you go into that covenant of marriage of the person that you have chosen to be with you know and that God has led you to UM marriage should not am not married sorry fornication should not be something that is just being indulged in and you know people should not be having sexual intercourse before marriage and I think that’s something that is very different in terms of comparing or worldly relationship to a godly one and also I wanted to encourage you that purity as well it’s a thing where the Bible even says that you know the pure in heart shall see God so some of you maybe think oh well you know I’m just in a relationship with for example a Muslim guy or move in a relationship someone who doesn’t even you know they don’t they don’t believe in God or perhaps they don’t really don’t believe in anything that you believe in they believe in better and these types of things but you know they’re they’re they’re saying okay it’s cool we can be celibate it’s cool we can’t we can’t do these things and I’m gonna push you to go to church I’m gonna push you to keep making your ministry and these types of things which sounds amazing but I want you to understand that that actually is not purity because the pure in heart will see God so if there is no seeing God they cannot see God they don’t even have that heart-to-heart relationship with the father they don’t have that relationship of Jesus and I want you to know that that is not exercising purity purity is not just abstaining from sex purity is also see in Christ there must be that ending so I wanted to say that as well and secondly in terms of what I was saying earlier about submission now in godly marriages there is something called submission which is so beautiful and I love it because you know God had the intention of women coming and being a helper to man and man being ahead and I think it’s very key to understand that in the Bible God Himself is also called a helper so God Himself he could call himself a helper you know women women we can call ourselves will help us too and I want you to also understand that the world’s idea of a helper is not God’s idea of a helper you know I want you to understand that it’s not just Dominion and slavery but it also is a beautiful reflection of the father-son relationship because Jesus came to earth to be litter literally come and to serve the king to serve to serve God and he’s was submitted to the will of God he only did when he saw the father doing now what I wanted to Spain here with submission in a relationships is so that there can be one mind you know the Bible says that and a man a double minded man is unstable in all his ways now let’s think about that to become one flesh – people are becoming one in their relationship they are literally becoming one and therefore they’re becoming one body therefore God doesn’t want you to be unstable in all your ways because you’re double minded and you can’t think of one mind which is why you invented submission so when your submitted you’re able to be able to have one manual two thinkers operate effectively together and I think it’s beautiful and something a manual or always what in fact something that he revealed to me and showed me was just how perfectly God modeled headship now we learned that headship is Dominion but I want you to understand that Jesus Christ led as a servant so you see that we’ve got headship and the authoritative role it’s not to be abused it’s something to be taken very seriously and for him he always says to me that he desires to come under to exalt me and over to protect me and he will lay his life down – literally literally just like die for die for die for me like it’s a beautiful I thought that you want to add some yeah what what I was gonna say is I’ll touch on that but kind of like the term submission is really frowned upon when people hear it they start to panicked and they want to have just run away and just that you were saying it’s not this kind of domineering and you’re a slave or whatnot it’s literally what the life of Jesus looked like in response to the father so that complete submission to the Father’s will but we understand that you know the son received everything from the father he said all that the father has is mine she got I mean so is this kind of two ways of I’m submitting I’m giving myself to you yeah but it’s because the father at first given all that he is to the Sun so it’s it’s like it’s covenant it’s a love relationship where we are both giving ourselves to one another one just kind of takes on a head the role of the head and one takes on the role of the helper and what I learned is that whether you’re a man or a woman you’re gonna submit like there’s no there is no way to run away from submission guy girl because you are you have to submit to God and I always say this that God you know Jesus teaches me how to submit to him but his submission to the Father I will teach her how to submit to me by my submission to Jesus and put it this way you know we’re living a life of submission to to God and God teaches us to love guys it teaches us to love and lay down our lives so in the midst of let’s say there’s an argument because if you’re in a relationship you know there is arguments and like you can’t kind of run away from it but it’s a thing of how quick can peace come in between and how can outwit can the kinda arguments be quenched by love and that takes submission so God will be like to me are you fighting for your rights here or are you fighting to love and to make peace and I have to submit because God spoken to me and I’m submitted and I’m submitting and apologizing you know in the relationship so I’m saying this to make the point that guys submit as well but even in our love and submitted and submission to God we’re going to be required to do acts of love that means that our pride our rights our will is submitted in order is laid down in order to love the person that were with so even where you will submit like in my opinion we have to love our lives our wives that Christ loves the church which means died you know so like it’s a greatest core to humility so evil way you know there’s gonna be submission you know so so yeah yeah and also going on to again the next point seven that came to mind was the fact that this entire relationship the whole thing it should literally allow for loved her reign supreme because in the world lust is what the rules relationships lust is usually what drives things but I know this means sexual desire in terms of that type of lust like when you’re desiring someone and you just have to have them you know what I’m talking about is also lost in terms of just wanting to have your way the loss of the flesh literally disappear man I want it my way in mine you know I learned from from go like from the get-go in this relationship I had to let go of my worldly mentality and this is why in these relationships you have to be renewed by the Word of God and that needs to reign supreme in your relationship because for me I was taught that I had to play hard to get I was taught that you know if he does this and I’m gonna do it in this way if he’s treating me like this then he’s gonna get it this way if he’s gonna do this and I’m gonna respond this way but now I had to actually learn that I need to respond by the word of the Lord I need to respond with actions of love not lust not my own personal selfish desires so there’s something that I want to read out also from songs of Solomon but it actually says mmm he brought me to the banqueting house in songs of Solomon to verse 4 and his banner over me was love and I love that picture right there because the husband is clearly holding up a banner of love it’s just so nice and that is also the covering of the entire relationship and I want you to know that that’s what it should be not lust so it’s a thing where this relationship is about sacrificial love laying down your life and lifting up the name of Jesus Christ so in this relationship I’ve learned that I can’t always have it my way or I can’t always do expect him to do things like this and criticize him I’ve got to have eyes of grace the Holy Spirit and his fruit should be reigning supreme in this relationship and that’s when the banner of love is over it you understand what can you see in your relationship can you see that that is literally the reigning of God fruit of the Spirit long-suffering patience joy purity peace all of these types of things exactly and that’s what we should be looking to with a Christian relationship that all of his fruits reign supreme rather than worldly fruits of selfishness arguing backbiting belittling abuse like emotional be even and these are the things that we need to ensure that you know we are looking for in Christian relationship this is what makes a Christian relationship in that because you being two Christians in a relationship does not make a Christian relationship does it no it’s if the love of Christ is being revealed through that relationship it’s not just titled okay that you’re saying it’s the character that you’re displaying okay I just want to touch back on the point I made first about you know purpose meeting purpose we’re not here for games like obviously what you’re supposed to enjoy the person that you’re with yet you’re supposed to enjoy the person that you’re marrying and that aspect is there as well but does my life and your life you know align in the two together would they work to serve God’s purpose your individual role in my : are they compatible you know when we come together in serving God’s purpose for our lives and that’s the main kind of things that that’s the main thing that kind of sets it apart from a worldly one because it’s about what’s purpose it’s about God’s glory it’s about God it’s your relationship it’s not yours it’s not for you it’s a tool for God’s glory to be revealed in the half it’s a tool for God’s purposes to be established on the earth is a tool for his will to be enforced on the earth it’s not for you it doesn’t belong to you you know it’s his work it’s his tool it’s his suffering that he’s built for his namesake so we just have to surrender that to him but when you surrender that to him that’s where you know the culture of your relationship will literally be joy peace the Bible tells us that to make the samples of all nations but we we don’t only do that by preaching a gospel that with our mouth we do that by teaching because to make a disciple is actually to teach disciple you know comes from the Greek word Mathis is where is the word where math is that the wrath from and it means the engagement mind in London so we engage the mind of the world in learning by displaying what a godly relationship is supposed to look like we disciple them by showing them what relationship marriage is meant to look like so in order for us to do that we have to be submitted to God and his presence has to emanate through see guys that’s why I’m in teas teacher he teaches me so much about his music you teach me some underside just so yeah so it’s actually beautiful because even the woman that you see I am today and part of that is through his pit baboon washing me in the world like everything is I’m not even exaggerating like genuinely like he really does model and who Jesus is to me do you have any other words of wisdom cuz you’ll be talking so much wisdom times where you know hot seasons tough seasons like just the encouragement just the just a picture of God’s love and and and he’s is the version to you you know you’re your partner your significant other can be that as well and especially throughout this year that’s what she’s been just a pillar and encouragement to me so yeah in terms of how we’re explaining what worldly how worldly relationships look different to Christian ones you can always find someone to encourage you you can always find someone to say good word or compliment into her you and you’re feeling down but there’s something very different about being a Christian relationship that is filled with the Holy Spirit and when you have that person who’s filled by the Holy Ghost and they’re able to allow divine wisdom to flow from their mouth because they desire to be washed by the word of the Living God and to actually speak life life into you that’s something that is so divine and that’s something that is precious and you’ll never find that in a worldly relationship you think you’ll find that when you are in a spirit-filled relationship the person that you have they will give you divine listen from the throne room of heaven because God Himself will be able to use each person that relationship as a mouthpiece to pour him and to exhort the other person before you get into a relationship if you want it to be a godly relationship if you want it to be a Christian go in the relationship make sure you have a good understanding of what love is not this flimsy feeling oh love of you know I love cake so much because it feels nice and it tastes so good that’s all about you you love how the cake makes you feel so that’s that love is very self-centered and it’s not love it’s it’s it’s what the person can do for you that can’t be you know your understanding of love you have to truly understand that you know love is what God has displayed towards you where you know he has expectations righteous standards for you but his love for you is not contingent it’s not based upon those expectations if you for sure he still loves you you still accept you thus though the you who is preaching the gospel and saving souls and the you who fell into sin you know last night God loves that you and this you the same his love that love has not diminished so and what understanding that that’s what the true essence of what love is is the given you’re laying down yourself for one another and choosing to this to give that to another person where we good or bad I love you it doesn’t change I’m better or worse I love you it doesn’t change until you know you you’re pursuing that level of love and of commitment stay away you stay away from relationship because it’s just gonna be a worldly one it’s not it’s nothing it’s not gonna be anything godly about it many of you you’re asking for God to give you a partner give me your husband give me your wife but I want to encourage you before we end this video to actually pray for your heart pray for God to actually prepare it because many of these worlds in relationships they say oh we fell out of love you don’t fall out of love you fell out of your feelings come please understand that you fell out of your feelings why because love in the Bible is not defined as oh really gooey lovely soft feeling the love in that is described in the Bible is actually so radical and I’m not going to tell you I’m going to encourage you to actually go and read about it in first Corinthians 13 so please go and study it and actually be renewed as you really see Wow love wasn’t feelings it wasn’t what TV taught me it’s actually what the Word of God describes it as that’s it yeah yeah that’s pretty much it guys blessed by this hope you learned something of you’re encouraged by this yeah god bless you guys god bless you guys bye stay tuned this series is gonna be so much more cheesy stuff stuff [Music]