Christian Age Gap Couple Share Honest Questions They Asked Themselves Over Their Relationship

hi friends it’s brittany valadez here from bravelydaily.com i’m so excited for you guys to be joining me because i have a special guest with me today yes i have the wonderful the beautiful the amazing couple jaylen and casey if you guys haven’t heard about them you’re going to be obsessed with them by the end of this video and if not by the end of the series because they are fantastic you guys just want to let you know i’m having a little technical difficulties with the camera so if anything is like you see a flashing of light it’s not you you’re not getting sick or going crazy it’s the camera so we’ll just deal with that so jalen and casey actually became popular because um it all began with one particular video and i will let them tell you all about that and then the jalen and casey stories blew up and that is what their ministry is about now catering to godly marriages all right before we get into that i have a couple of requests of you guys if you like this video please give it a thumbs up and subscribe to this channel now you guys follow me on social media i will list my social media accounts in the description box below alright let’s get into this interview jalen casey my new friends it’s so exciting for me to be chatting with you guys um i love love love your marriage and relationship advice because it comes from a biblical perspective and that’s why we’re going to be talking about one of the most important things um ever and that’s relationships so i was like who better to get on this channel than um jalen and casey of course to talk about relationships now for anyone who may not be familiar with you just tell us a little bit about yourself we are jalen and casey we’re very happy to be here a little bit about us um we are believers in jesus christ we grew up in the same church together so we’ve known each other most of our lives although we didn’t become friends probably until about 10 12-ish years ago yeah maybe yeah we really started hanging out yeah we started working in the same uh ministry department and uh his brother actually is uh he’s a director of film and yeah director photography he’s got a bachelor’s in television yeah so but both of them they’re in the entertainment business always and they had a background in television just like that so when my church started their um media program i became the leader of that department and jalen became my right-hand man because he knew more about an idea but uh so that’s how we started kind of working together and getting to know one another because he’s very quiet i’m kind of quietish you know but we had this chemistry between us as far as been able to work together well creatively so that’s how we started kind of talking and then one moment i was like wait how old are you i don’t know i don’t know about this i was probably um when we first when i first got him when the ministry first started i was probably around 15 16 years old when that when the ministry first started i said we grew up but age difference we weren’t hanging out with the same circles so to speak you know we had different friends and things like that always remember your brother though even though he was a lot older than me but um anyway so yeah i was about 15 16 when that media ministry started and we started working together so i worked those with uh kfc started my brother and we kind of supported you in the ministry giving you our technical skill and you just kind of had to create a vibe for everything and so that’s when we began to work together and we recognized we worked really well together we worked well together in ministry and then out of that came uh our music group that we did for a very short time it was me casey and my brother and we actually um you know brother rap she’s saying we did a group together and we would especially a little bit of travel in our area and uh release some music and did some don’t really understand concerts nature of our friendship because our two families are very close and if you ever sit down and talk with him for any amount of time you really forget how old he was he was very mature for his age his brother’s very mature for their age and i never hung out with people that was really my age as well growing up my sister is my sister is nine years older than i am so i’m used to hanging out with people older than me and kind of you know just kind of like just i don’t care long as you’re mature i will deal with you but i will talk with you and um so we really just you know create this bond with his family i could love his family his family is amazing i couldn’t have asked for better in-laws and um and it was kind of funny that it was my father who is now um with the lord he passed away uh december and um but my father came to me and he was the one that said you know i like jalen and uh you can marry him if you want to and my dad my dad is known for being very straightforward to the point i was like what i was shocked like what so my dad said it it has to be right because my dad is very picky very particular about um everything and so and at that point um when that happened and i actually had no time for him i had to be about 20 21 and i remember the first time i looked at casey and thought hmm you know because we were friends like thank god for this because i was technically still a teenager at the time we were friends but i never looked at casey any kind of way she was just you know she was she was casey she would lead the ministry we worked together things like that and there was nothing there it wasn’t love at first sight and again thank god because i was still a kid but anyway but uh around the time i was 20 21 i remember looking at her one day and it would be too long a story but it was something that she did in the form of ministry onto someone else and i saw her and impressed me and i was like hmm i could see this i could see marion i could see being with her i could see him ministering to the gospel with her and then i think sometime after that of course i never talked to her dad your dad said that to you and then a series of great events we could tell the whole story led to us eventually you know expressing our feelings to each other and that long after that we got married it’s a funny uh story with a lot of ups and downs but uh that’s more or less how it went down here we are and uh jalen and casey uh the youtube ministry was birthed out of just our desire to share our story and we never knew that it would turn into this this way and uh so we did it very casually it was like oh maybe maybe we’ll become vloggers and stuff like that so we did that for a little while but that we as you can see that fell off and we really just love ministering and and our families in ministry so it’s really in our heart just to share jesus in our everyday life yeah so ministry of marriage like you said began because honestly we had a lot of struggles when we first got married and most people know us or find us because our most popular videos on the fact of our age gap marriage is 11 year difference between us um but uh the the thing that we push the most is the newlywed struggles that we dealt with and um those are the things that we dug in and decided individually and then together that we were going to fight for having not just a marriage but a good marriage a godly marriage and out of that came so many lessons that we just began to share as we were learning them and it sparked this youtube ministry that we’ve been doing for um well over three years now i think yeah and we always say we minister from our perspective of having gone through and going through so you’re getting our experiences in real time so we don’t act like we know it all because we’re still a work in progress and we’re still learning um i age get difference it’s not anything special to us because we discovered that struggles can happen any type of marriage whether you’re the same age older or younger whatever has everything to do with the individuals involved and their willingness to put in the work and the time and so we discovered that you know it works when you make jesus the center and marriage works 100 of the time when you do it god’s way so uh it’s a quote specifically comes from pastor jimmy evans and um you were the one that first found his ministry in the ministry of marriage today on youtube and we’ll tell the story about how that happened well you know having our struggles and you know when you first get married everybody tell you about the new wedding and stuff like that and how fun it was going to be but i felt like as soon as we said i do the devil just said we’re gonna try to get rid of this thing real quick and so we came under a lot of challenges really early on and i can remember one day just while he was at work just praying to the lord said lord i desire a good marriage and i know that a good marriage is your promise to me and you wouldn’t have led me to him because i believed in my heart that we were meant to be together so i didn’t doubt that part but i was like i don’t want a lackluster marriage i don’t want just an arrangement i don’t want to be in something just tolerating it you know i wanted to have fulfillment in our relationship and when i cried out to god about that he led me to um pastor jimmy evans in his ministry marriage today and that was one of the first statements that he said and it just recorded me and i remember sending him links to the youtube videos and like oh you need to watch this and we’ll watch it together and it really gave us a voice to our issues and we was able to from that point on talk about things that i was feeling because i didn’t know how to express what i was feeling because i didn’t want to make him feel like oh you’re just terrible person you know but i didn’t i didn’t know how to say what i was feeling and pastor jimmy evans gave me the tools to do that and as a result of that it sprouted desiring us to help other people like us that were struggling giving them the tools and the voice behind their their issues because every time you’re watching videos like i’ll apologize that’s it that’s what i was trying to get you to understand you know and it really helped that marriage and i’m so blessed by that and so what we realized was we weren’t the only ones going through those issues because like the quote says marriage works 100 of the time if you do it god’s way and so what i came to realize for us and everyone else in the world the reason why there’s a 50 divorce rate not just in the world but also in the church it’s because not everybody’s doing it in god’s way being saved isn’t automatically god’s way you can be saved you could be unsaved but marriage belongs to god he invented it and so one thing i like to say to people when i’m talking to them and counseling them is a lot of people try to get married and try to do it without doing it with god’s word as the center of your direction but you’re playing with god’s stuff he invented this and only he knows how it works so if you try to do it without him you will always fail 100 of the time so it works the other way too you do it without him 100 times it’s going to fail so god’s way learning god’s way of marriage is a lifelong journey and so when people come and watch our channel you know one thing i have to say is saving marriage is one story at a time that’s how we close out our videos what we’re doing is we’re preaching the gospel the gospel that is able to save your soul and it’s the gospel is able to save your marriage and so you want to know what god’s way is i can’t summarize that in one sentence i can give you guys a definition of marriage but how to do it and how to practice it each and every day that’s a lifelong journey and that’s what our channel is for jalen i know you mentioned in your videos that i’m not sure if it was before you and casey started dating or um after that there was a time where you felt that god separated you two for a bit and he was making you a kingdom husband and making her a kingdom wife essentially preparing you guys to be obviously in a relationship and married one day now during that time of separation um was there any questions that you had going on you know in your mind whether or not you should even marry casey or if you liked her or maybe liked someone else if she was even the one for you was there any specific sin that you were struggling with that was maybe keeping you away from her like like what was going on during that time of separation yeah i’ll tell you exactly so actually that period of time we actually kind of weren’t talking to each other as friends for a while that was before we actually got together and everything and uh we were actually both separately going to two different phases in life and so we just weren’t dealing with each other as much anymore we weren’t working together as much and um but yes what happened and this is what’s going to have to happen for any guy um and he’s really not an age thing but the earlier he does it the better there’s a certain point where a man has to decide to become a man i was dealing with a lot of different issues in life and actually dealt with some depression and some things like that and i came to a point where i decided lord you’re going to have to teach me how to be who it is i need to be that’s kind of a rough way of putting it but i look for the lord and doing this faith of life i just spent hours in his presence daily i was praying in the spirit i was studying the word and i built a relationship with god and learned how to hear from him and that is the foundation of what it means to be a man the ability to hear from god that’s what adam had with the father in the garden an ability to have a relationship with him to hear him and talk back and i developed that and by the time i was i would say 19 years old i was grounded in my ability to hear the voice of god and i had a direction in life i knew i was going and who i knew who it was i needed to be and it’s only when a man has reached that point that he is just about ready to start quote unquote looking for a wife what really happens is the lord comes to you and says okay for this next stage of your journey this is what you need to be looking for and it wasn’t long after that that casey kind of got highlighted to me and i began to think about it but then because of the age gap thing something i think we both have to deal with and these are questions you have to ask yourself can i do this can i handle it because a lot of the issues that we think coming to age gap marriage are more imaginary but at the same time perception is everything and if you can’t get out of your own head about it you may need to stay away from it so i had to ask myself challenging questions like am i okay with this i say i’m cool with it now but in 10 20 years i might have a problem am i going to think that she’s going to get old and broke down am i going to feel weird around other people am i going to feel weird am i going to have doubts that she can have children i had to ask myself all these questions and challenge myself and that just said oh it’s going to be okay it’s going to be okay and people need to do this when they’re getting married or even thinking about approaching someone even if it has nothing to do with age gap a lot of times we have these endorphins and we’re happy and so we don’t ask the important questions but we’re always good for that and even individually we ask ourselves these questions and i had to answer each one of these questions for myself and say you know what i truly don’t care i am interested in her i believe god is orchestrating this i’m going to pursue this and i had to settle that so that it would come up later on after i was married and truthfully sometimes it still can but you gotta remind yourself those conversations you held the lord before remind yourself that no i settled this this is where i stand i’m holding my ground so that’s what i dealt with uh probably that season and those videos were talking about yeah and it was similar for me as well you know having to just once i realized that yeah i really love jalen i really like him and he proven to be a very rude and grounded uh man in the lord and i saw him how he operated with his family he’s very honorable sometimes two of all i really love that about him and he reminded so much of my father um so anyway i had to really ask myself the same questions like can i handle this like because between him and i we’re cool but our marriage is going to be on front street people are going to see us together are they going to think i’m older automatically um how are we going to explain this am i going to be okay with that i didn’t want to fall into that category of oh you’re a cougar i hate that term you know but i know it may come up you know and how am i going to react to that and i’m going to be embarrassed um again about children um because i didn’t want to feel pressured to have children right away because i was older i mean where is my faith in all of this like i really had to ask for hard questions and i asked him those questions are you okay with this and um the answer was yes and but we still had to use the word and use faith about it every step of the way even getting pregnant even though we didn’t have complications getting pregnant praise god but we had to build faith for that um ahead of time and um so yeah it’s a journey that you got to always stay in communication with one another and with the lord and uh so far so good we joke between us about age gaps sometimes you know people say to me they’re like oh you rob the cradle and i was like you know what he just jumped out of it he jumped out the cradle it’s not my fault you know he pursued me and i don’t really understand that he pursued me i was not looking for a younger man i was like no i’m not married anybody younger i was like if he’s not at least my age or five years older it was like my cat like i didn’t want to be with all that like no that was weird to me so this is totally god people ask me like do you recommend age gap i recommend you go with god okay our relationship has nothing to do with our age it really doesn’t it’s two people with the same goals for the kingdom of god god put it together for a reason and it’s being fully manifested each and every day and for us it’s not an issue but since it’s public now we have to talk about it because we get a lot of questions like a lot of questions about age gap relationship and people freak out three years some people it’s like i can’t do three years three months that’s too much oh my oh my gosh you know i love that you guys decided to face the questions head on so many times people can be in the hallmark aspect of the relationship and they don’t want to face the hard questions but you guys knew that in order to have a mature relationship and if it was going to work you had to face those hard questions head on from the beginning that is true wisdom so you guys have gotten to know jalen and casey because of their wisdom when it comes to dating relationships and marriage that wisdom we can all receive when we study and apply the word of god to our lives as well but there’s another topic that they’re really wise on and it comes down to the topic of race so jalen actually did an amazing series on his youtube channel with his father where he discussed race if you guys haven’t noticed we are minorities ourselves i’m hispanic and they are african-american so we thought well we might have a thing or two to say about you know the topic of race but it’s not because we are minorities that we feel that we need to talk about race that’s just one major aspect the first major aspect of why we are even talking about it is because we want to share it from a biblical perspective race relations is huge right now but what are true authentic christians saying about it and if you’re kind of somewhere in between and don’t know what to believe or what to think about it i think you should definitely watch the series so i hope you guys you know can stay on this channel i’ll let you guys know on social media et cetera when that video series is coming out all right so i’m sure that many of you are loving the wisdom dropped by jalen and casey but was there anything specific that stood out to you was there like a quotable quote that you just can’t get out of your head and maybe you even like wrote it down because it was so good just tell me in the comment section below i’m pretty sure they’ll be interested to know what inspired you but i just want to tell you a couple more things so yes remember don’t forget this is not the only video in this series there aren’t many more to come lastly if you like them and i know you did you’re going to want to follow them on social media i will put all of their social accounts in the description box below don’t forget to subscribe to the channel jalen and casey and go visit their website jalen and casey.com our youtube channel and i’m sure brittany’s already linking all of that but youtube.com and casey uh we’d love it if you would join our bible study group that we have on facebook it’s a private group so it just asked to be in it um and then you get accepted into it and um we’re actually launching pretty soon some new bible studies that’ll happen well i’m not going to give too much detail until we actually lock it in but it’s going to be happening so go to joint bible study group and uh on our website if you have questions for us we have uh our dear jalen and casey tab which you can submit questions you can be anonymous if you like at jaylandcasey.com.com or you can send them to brittany and she’ll just have us back on again we’ll just do this all over um or uh we also have uh we’re doing for the year 2021. it’s only 21. you can have a one-on-one session with us a 30-minute session on zoom and you can ask us questions directly talk about your situation whether it’s you with your uh person your spouse or person you’re dating or you single by yourself uh wherever you are single divorced married struggling uh halfway to struggling whatever it is you’re dealing with and you need to get some help but you could talk one on one but you can do that and for the year 2021 we’re just doing it for 21 because we’re passionate about this year people getting their lives on track and whatever they’re dealing with so that’s what we’ve got going on right now so be sure to check all that out and we everywhere instagram too yeah instagram on facebook just look down in case he’s everything we got it just spell the name right also if you guys want to follow me my social media accounts will be in the description box below you can also subscribe to my channel and you can follow me on my website at bravelydaily.com alright i’m brittany valadez for bravelydaily.com god bless and i’ll see you in the next one you