Posts Tagged Wedlock

Christian advice please? I don’t know what to do I am Christian single mother lost?

Melissa S asked:

First, thank you for your answers I really appreciate you help, I do. I am 30 years old, Christian mother. I am looking for an honest opinion on my life, what to do with myself. I had my son at 24 I was living reclessley, clubbing all the time, drinking alot etc. I did not know the truth about Jesus back then, I was even as bad as to be with men and had a son out of wedlock and can not find out who his father is. I know that was very wrong, I was reckless. When I was my low of being pregnant and felt so lost and afraid and felt so bad about myself for not knowing the father I started reading the Holy Bible. I started to see the truth in it, thank God! When I started understanding the story of Jesus I realized by the grace of God that it is the truth and I felt saved and it was wonderful. For five years I was strong in my faith, I lived with my mother in order to raise my son. Me and my mother had differences, I wanted to home school my son and raise him Christian, she is not Christian and thought I should put him in school. I also started to date, and I don't know why but I have dated two men since and they both said they believed in Jesus but were not as strong in faith as I am I guess (although I can not judge) but I started feeling guilty because of the unequally yoked passage and because both of them were drinkers and I started to drink with them on occasions. I was also intimate with them, thinking maybe they were the ones. Both of them talked about marriage. The first guy I dated never progressed into more so I stopped seeing him. At this time things were getting harder with my mother, even though she is not Christian I think she was disappointed because she knows I am and was seeing that first guy. I felt dissapointed in myself. So I ended up in a big fight and she said I had to leave. I was in school, trying to get my degree and wanted to homeschool my son who would be in Kindergarten this year, so I waited for my aid and rented a room from another Christian mother this past August. I also work as a nanny with my son so I can watch him and make money. I was having a hard time putting him in public school because I didnt' afford Christian schools. So since August I moved out. It has been so hard, my son and I both got two different flus at four different times, and I was in the hospital. I started seeing this other guy, I don't know why maybe because he was nice and said he wanted to get married and was attentive and caring and he also helped me to stop drinking. I was working as a nanny and the family didn't pay me for five weeks of work. I had to fix my car. My financial aid and loans came later than expected and I couldn't afford my books until it was pretty much too late. I basically failed my classes because of this and that my computer broke and I was taking online classes. So the guy I was seeing thinks I play games and we stopped seeing eachother because I talked wrongly about him to family and was pushing him away. I miss him but am trying to move on, and on top I am sad about my classes and then the other single mom I rent from is telling me she needs to rent to someone else as soon as possible because they can afford to rent out two rooms. I don't know what to do because I am only paid until the first and I am not making alot as a nanny because I do it to homeschool my son because I can't afford Christian school and I am worried about my classes, but God willing they will still give me my aid next semester. I just feel so unstable for my son, and on top of it my pastor died three or so weeks ago and the Christian church is so small and one of the elders who is 30 plus years older than me I went to for help and he asked me to marry him and it felt wrong so I don't feel I can go back to that church. I tried going to a Catholic church until I can find another Christian church and a woman yelled at me in front of the church for giving my son who believes in Jesus a sacrament bread before he did communion. I just feel a little lost. I am sorry if this is too long, thank you for taking the time to help me

Mike

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We’re SO different, do u think it matters in a relationship?

Alien (Tribute to Sting!) asked:

We met online a couple of months ago, told him i wasnt available but told him will help him find a GF, started talkin a lot ever since (he's from the UK), and now we got this weird connection going on between us, but the thing is.. We are SO different!I wanna know how you feel about it, and if this kind of relationships actually work or not, coz he's coming next month for a visit..

I got a BSc in Electronics Engineering, planning on getting an MBA in the near future ... He hardly passed high school.
I work in the field of media and e-marketing ... he works for the army.
I am a career-oriented woman, planning one day on running my own business or becoming an executive in a big company... he is an enlisted paramedic for the army.
I come from a highly educted family, parents both had their successful careers before retirement, sent us to pivate schools and private universities, got me and my siblings cars on our 20th bdays... He's an ex convict, divorced, body full of tattoos & still gets wasted EVERY saturday at the age of 33!
I am 5'10 tall ... he's 5'6
I was brought up on catholic beliefs ... he had his first child outside the wedlock, HE was born outside wedlock!

Ok, so those are all the differences.

On the other hand, we spend A LOT of time talkin to each other, we can talk practically about ANYTHING, he's good hearted, been thru a lot, he's really sensitive and appreciates little things in life, he's a good listener, believes that love has no boundaries and all that romantic stuff. He loves his kids so much and I find that a very attractive attribute.

I want to hear from married couples who have been married for a long time if these differences actually affect a marriage, I have dated "good-on-paper" guys before, but it's been a while since I found this kind of connection with someone.

Also, I want to hear from parents, will you support your daughter if she decided she wanted to be with a guy like that? Different cultural/educational/socio-economic/religious background?

I know talkin about getting in a relationship is too soon bcoz we have never met, but he will be here next month to see the possibility of us being together, he made it clear that he wants to get married eventually, and he has mentioned on several times that he has strong feelings for me.
CatNip, my parents are "highly-educated", I was just born lucky, to smart hard working parents.
And I know am not being played like a fiddle, but again, this is NOT my question :) the questions is would these things really matter in a relationship?
I am just brainstorming :)
We do have a lot of things in common. We talk about books, music, politics and religion ... A LOT actually ... he didn't go to college but that doesn't mean he's a lazy uneducated and a bum. Plus, we share the same ethics, being in the army and having a lot of his friends passing away is making him more religious by time, I am not super religious myself, neither is he, and he has mentioned several times that this is the way he is raising his current children, and the future ones.

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Different socio/economic, cultural, educaltional. How much does it affect a relationship?

Alien (Tribute to Sting!) asked:

We met online a couple of months ago, told him i wasnt available but told him will help him find a GF, started talkin a lot ever since (he's from the UK), and now we got this weird connection going on between us, but the thing is.. We are SO different!I wanna know how you feel about it, and if this kind of relationships actually work or not, coz he's coming next month for a visit..

I got a BSc in Electronics Engineering, planning on getting an MBA in the near future ... He hardly passed high school.
I work in the field of media and e-marketing ... he works for the army.
I am a career-oriented woman, planning one day on running my own business or becoming an executive in a big company... he is an enlisted paramedic for the army.
I come from a highly educted family, parents both had their successful careers before retirement, sent us to pivate schools and private universities, got me and my siblings cars on our 20th bdays... He's an ex convict, divorced, body full of tattoos & still gets wasted EVERY saturday at the age of 33!
I am 5'10 tall ... he's 5'6
I was brought up on catholic beliefs ... he had his first child outside the wedlock, HE was born outside wedlock!

Ok, so those are all the differences.

On the other hand, we spend A LOT of time talkin to each other, we can talk practically about ANYTHING, he's good hearted, been thru a lot, he's really sensitive and appreciates little things in life, he's a good listener, believes that love has no boundaries and all that romantic stuff. He loves his kids so much and I find that a very attractive attribute.

I want to hear from married couples who have been married for a long time if these differences actually affect a marriage, I have dated "good-on-paper" guys before, but it's been a while since I found this kind of connection with someone.

Also, I want to hear from parents, will you support your daughter if she decided she wanted to be with a guy like that? Different cultural/educational/socio-economic/reli… background?

I know talkin about getting in a relationship is too soon bcoz we have never met, but he will be here next month to see the possibility of us being together, he made it clear that he wants to get married eventually, and he has mentioned on several times that he has strong feelings for me.
We do have a lot of things in common. We talk about books, music, politics and religion ... A LOT actually ... he didn't go to college but that doesn't mean he's a lazy uneducated and a bum. Plus, we share the same ethics, being in the army and having a lot of his friends passing away is making him more religious by time, I am not super religious myself, neither is he, and he has mentioned several times that this is the way he is raising his current children, and the future ones.

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