My b/f and I dated for a year. We broke up in Sept. 08 because of he and I both. He had a lot of things going on in his life and I did as well. In November 08, I went to him and apologized for anything I did wrong in the relationship, asked for his forgiveness, and asked him to allow he and I another chance. I know that's a little vague but I would write a book if I tried to get all the details in here. Just let me say this....as for me, I'd had a very stressful year. My children and I were trying to finish building our house....and I mean we actually did about 95% of it ourselves....took us nearly 2 years though....and it was a tough thing to do. I also worked, at the time, a 24 on 48 off shift. Then I ended up going to the Police Academy and changing careers. Then last summer, I had a death in my family that hurt me deeply.Then 5 weeks later, my friend was murdered by her husband and I was the first deputy on scene. That's when I reached a breaking point I think. My b/f didn't seem to be there for me when I needed his emotional support and 2 months later, I broke it off.
Okay...back to Nov. 08. I went to him and apologized. I didn't know however, that he'd just started dating someone he met online. Let me say too...that my b/f and I have been friends for 8 years before we started dating. Anyway....he told me he didn't love me anymore....that he loved this new woman he'd only known for 3 to 4 weeks....and turned his back on me. She "made" him tell me to get out of his life....so he wouldn't even be friends with me anymore. Once she accomplished that....she broke up with him....and that was 12 days after he told me to get out of his life. (He and I work together in public safety as well).
I didn't hear a word from him from Dec 08 until Feb 09. I would see him out on calls but that's about it. I received an email from him Feb 2,09 in which he told me she'd broken up with him Jan. 2nd....and also that his dad's cancer was back and he was dying. I was right there for him and was even with the family at the hospital when his dad passed. I was also with him during the funeral. My b/f and I had spoken some about our relationship and were talking positively about trying again.....but the other woman found out I was at the funeral home and she went balistic. She cussed him out....called him about 30 times while we were at the funeral home, and left him about 15 messages. He told me she was crying and begging him to take her back. So...the day after the funeral he lied to me and went to see her. The two of them were back together by that night (the day after the funeral). I was crushed.
I didn't hear anything from him after that and in the middle of April...I woke up one morning with him on my mind very heavily. I called him that night because the feeling I should speak with him wouldn't go away. He told me she was "doing it again"...surprise surprise.
Anyway...he wanted to date again and I was skeptical of it. I told him after we spoke for about 2 weeks that I did still love him and would be willing to try one more time. I also told him I needed him to be over her and he said he was. He seemed angry at her for the "game" she'd played in Feb....although she wasn't the only one playing a game.
I asked him if they still spoke to each other and he promised me he wasn't talking to her. I asked him not to speak to her right now until he and I got our feet under us again with our relationship and again, he promised me he could honor that.
The problem now is...I have recently found out that the two of them spoke by phone....by email....and by text messaging from the time he and I began dating again until the first part of June. All he will say is..."I was just trying to be her friend. Guess I'm learning I can't be friends with anyone." Just to note....the woman made sure they got caught by me. He has since stopped speaking to her and I do believe him on that. The problem is...the damage is done. After all that's happened these last few months...I'm just not sure if I CAN carry on and try to mend things. I'm not even sure I WANT to anymore. He called a counselor and made an appt. He wants me to go with him so we can amybe put this back together. He tells me she had some kind of hold on him that he doesn't understand completely. He also says that even though he was talking to her....he was away from her and slowly able to see her in a different light.
Let me say one more thing very quickly....this woman sent me emails he had written to her since he and I have been dating. The last one was June 3rd and he hasn't had anymore contact since. It was also at this time that I really felt like I had him completely...meaning mind and body. It was also at this time (June 8th) that I received the emails.
So tell me everyone....what's your opinion. Oh...also just to let you know....my b/f and I are in our early 40's.
Thanks!
