Is everyone, or most people in general, born with the social skills, conversation skills, communication skills, flirting skills, in order to make small talk, start a conversation with someone, and make friends? and flirt in order to get a date, in order to get a boyfriend/girlfriend, etc.?
Because other people make it look so easy, they have the best social lives, they have a lot of friends, they have the life of the party, they always have something to do in their daily life that involves socializing with people and friends, other than their own family.
The reason why is because all the times in my life I have made friends, it was because the people that I became friends with, they were the ones that initiated the friendship with me, they were the ones that started talking to me first, they were the ones that asked me to hang out, overall, they initiated everything in the beginning. These were mostly guys, because right now all of my friends are guys, not because I am ***.
Anyway, are all of these talking skills, social skills, flirting skills, conversation skills, communication skills, etc. All natural? are people born with these skills? did it never take these people practice? Did they know how to start a conversation and make small talk, make friends, flirt and get dates, boyfriends/girlfriends, casual sex, etc., all from day one?
Everytime I have taken the initiative to make new friends, socialize and talk to people, just to make friends, period, it always backfired. Whenever I asked the person if they wanted to hang out and chill, like go see a movie, they let me have their phone number, but they never answered or called me back, the only time they answered their phone was when I called them the first time, which was understandable, because they did not know my number yet until they saw it on Caller ID. Seriously, I was just being myself, being friendly, these were all from guys only, because I was just looking for friends, this happend to me like 2 or 3 times in my entire life, when I took the initiative to make new friends, but the person never called me back or answered their phone.
Also, every girl I have approached, talked to, and asked out in my entire life, rejected me!!!!!! I don't know what I did wrong. I have always been single, and I **** it!!!
Am I going to get any answers to this question?
#1 by Al on July 8th, 2009
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I_CAN
good question, ive always wondered the same. I think it may be inborn but ive spoken to people with excellent people/conversational skills who say they “learned it” over the years- but i don’t believe this completely- i think you are born that way or conditioned early. Im not exactly sure.
#2 by on July 9th, 2009
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Tia
I may not be able to give you the answer you are looking for because I’m kind of in the same position as you , all I can tell you is that it CAN change and get better with time and practice. You will get rejected, you might not make friends, but keep trying and have you friends that have better social skills help you, or you can pay a life coach but I think that would be a last resort.
I don’t believe everyone is born knowing, but to some is easier because of the way they think, they aren’t shy and have confidence; which is the most important thing.
You might want to post this question in “other-family and friends” category, or in polls since more people go there.
#3 by Communication Skills on July 15th, 2009
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